After reading that you are in multiple bday party gift season, I wanted to share a birthday party gift tip that has worked well for us. We often group gift for my 7-yr-old son’s classmates. One mom usually spearheads checking with the birthday boy’s mom about an item and ordering, and 10-12 classmates (sometimes fewer) chip in $8-13 for items like a hammock, scooter, snow sled. Not a huge time or $ investment per family but a collective gift that is meaningful and well received.
I have two boys, and the handing down of clothes sure didn't happen like I thought it would, ha! Besides the normal wear and tear, they have turned out to have vastly different styles and growth charts. A pair of jeans my oldest wore in 4th grade that I held on to are just now fitting my youngest as he's in 7th grade, and hates jeans.
On a serious note, I totally agree that the division of labor can never be decided once and set in stone forever. We also have very dynamic lives and breakdowns that worked even last year have to be tweaked this year because things change! This year, it happens to be in my favor as my oldest son has taken over his laundry since he plays hockey 3-4 times a week and needs stuff cleaned faster than I can get to it, and our youngest has taken on dish duty at least 3 nights a week.
I think we need to get the word perfect out of our collective brain. There is beauty in imperfection. Martha Stewart had help, designers, prop people, fixers and nothing was real. We think if we get something perfect it will enhance our lives. It won’t. Why you ask, we live, survive, grow, die, have kids, get an apartment or house in an imperfect world. Just say, you know I look forward to Xday because I slow down, read books, order take out, eat leftovers. Don’t shower, change my undies, answer the door or my phone because I am tapped out. Everyone gets it, allowing this in our lives, makes us happier. It is okay. Picasso drew really strange pictures. They don’t look like a Vermeer, but he is considered a master because he showed a different perspective, a way to see something in a unique way. He survived and thrived. Perfection is a trap, don’t fall for it.
It’s just, I don’t want you to obsess about a perfect party or meal, whatever. We are hit with so much aspirational marketing and often feel we don’t measure up. In fact you, everyone exceeds in so many ways that count.
You are far more than your expectations. You are here, taking care of kids, making a life with family and friends. That ringing sound is you hitting the jackpot. If things don’t turnout great, think of the stories and laughs you will have.
I admire how organized you two are! I think your point about roles constantly evolving is so important. We too found that as our careers, ages of kids, number of children we had, home set up changed our ways of managing them changed too. We need to talk about it and be up for trying a new plan. Also, I think it’s great that the two of you spend so much time together and it mostly works! It’s lovely if you can :)
After reading that you are in multiple bday party gift season, I wanted to share a birthday party gift tip that has worked well for us. We often group gift for my 7-yr-old son’s classmates. One mom usually spearheads checking with the birthday boy’s mom about an item and ordering, and 10-12 classmates (sometimes fewer) chip in $8-13 for items like a hammock, scooter, snow sled. Not a huge time or $ investment per family but a collective gift that is meaningful and well received.
This is super smart
We’re also VERY into group gifting!
I have two boys, and the handing down of clothes sure didn't happen like I thought it would, ha! Besides the normal wear and tear, they have turned out to have vastly different styles and growth charts. A pair of jeans my oldest wore in 4th grade that I held on to are just now fitting my youngest as he's in 7th grade, and hates jeans.
On a serious note, I totally agree that the division of labor can never be decided once and set in stone forever. We also have very dynamic lives and breakdowns that worked even last year have to be tweaked this year because things change! This year, it happens to be in my favor as my oldest son has taken over his laundry since he plays hockey 3-4 times a week and needs stuff cleaned faster than I can get to it, and our youngest has taken on dish duty at least 3 nights a week.
Exactly - this is a season, just like the last one, and the next one! We are constantly changing, and our needs as a family will, as well.
I love that you have your oldest son doing laundry and your youngest doing dishes! That's great! Essential life skills!
I think we need to get the word perfect out of our collective brain. There is beauty in imperfection. Martha Stewart had help, designers, prop people, fixers and nothing was real. We think if we get something perfect it will enhance our lives. It won’t. Why you ask, we live, survive, grow, die, have kids, get an apartment or house in an imperfect world. Just say, you know I look forward to Xday because I slow down, read books, order take out, eat leftovers. Don’t shower, change my undies, answer the door or my phone because I am tapped out. Everyone gets it, allowing this in our lives, makes us happier. It is okay. Picasso drew really strange pictures. They don’t look like a Vermeer, but he is considered a master because he showed a different perspective, a way to see something in a unique way. He survived and thrived. Perfection is a trap, don’t fall for it.
Beautifully said and couldn’t agree more. We made a point in our newsletter this week to say there IS NO perfect couple, for this reason.
It’s just, I don’t want you to obsess about a perfect party or meal, whatever. We are hit with so much aspirational marketing and often feel we don’t measure up. In fact you, everyone exceeds in so many ways that count.
I would be the first to admit that my expectations of myself are too high. So yes, completely agree with you.
You are far more than your expectations. You are here, taking care of kids, making a life with family and friends. That ringing sound is you hitting the jackpot. If things don’t turnout great, think of the stories and laughs you will have.
Thank you, friend.
We are too hard on ourselves. Tearing up! Friend.
I admire how organized you two are! I think your point about roles constantly evolving is so important. We too found that as our careers, ages of kids, number of children we had, home set up changed our ways of managing them changed too. We need to talk about it and be up for trying a new plan. Also, I think it’s great that the two of you spend so much time together and it mostly works! It’s lovely if you can :)