Thanks for all your work for a stronger democracy!!! So many parents with young families can’t find the time, especially 2 full time workers. I appreciate you finding the time.
I love that people are willing to share their finances. I find areas I need to improve on (and how to do it) and areas where I think "I'm actually doing okay with this." Appreciate that this person shared the privilege they have along with the work they did WITH that privilege to do the things they do. Childcare is so expensive. We are almost equal with our mortgage and preschool costs. It's out of hand.
It's so crazy! And it's upsetting to think how these costs impact low-income families. Such a small percentage of families qualify for subsidized childcare. It leaves people in really tough situations.
Thanks enjoyed this one! Would love to see someone profiled who has a bigger clothing spend! I really enjoy fashion and buying clothes and so does my husband and we fit that into our budget fine. I’d love to see others who fit this into their budget also :)
I'm so impressed with their "eating out" monthly spend - that is something we just cannot seem to crack in my household. I feel guilty about it EVERY month but we also love good food and "eating out" can include bread from a favorite local bakery or even bringing a meal to a family who is going through a hard time, plus my husband getting coffee and lunch at work. I need to just make peace with it but it's one of those budget categories I really struggle with!
Our eating out is pretty low, because we don't like any of the restaurants in our town. So it's just a disappointing way to spend money. If I still lived in NYC it would be much higher. So my budget hack is to move somewhere without good restaurants and then complain about it lol.
Do you have kids? Having young children organically kills your eating out budget because it's such a PITA to go out with them. But on the other hand, it's easy to grab takeout when you're juggling the kids and don't have the time/mental bandwidth to cook! But drinks can be such a big part of the bill when eating out, and that is eliminated with takeout.
We do - we've reached the ages (7 and 9.5) when going out with them is fun. It's definitely a different life stage! And often I find the takeout is pricey as well, all four of us are eating as opposed to life with young kids who don't eat as much.
I guess one thing to consider (perhaps playing devil's advocate!) is that maybe it's OK to spend more if that's a category that's important to you and your family.
I’m the single parent of a young adult with complex medical needs. I spend hundreds of hours a month navigating the hellish medical-insurance system, paying huge co-pays, paying cancellation fees on medical appointments she misses because she’s too sick to go. We spend a lot of money on Doordash, because that’s often the only way she will eat something, when there is literally nothing in the fridge except the materials for a grilled cheese. I am happy to buy a lot of things at the thrift store, including art, household needs (cast iron pans, dish racks, Pyrex) and to minimize my clothes spending but I can’t give up the Doordash unless I drive myself to the brink of exhaustion constantly grocery shopping and cooking. Remember I’m the sole carer…so this indulgence and getting a cleaning lady twice a month are the things that keep me sane :). What we spend money on is intimately related to our emotional and physical and mental needs …
Thank you for sharing! I don't think we talk enough about the importance of spending money to take care of our needs. There may be trade offs, but that's OK.
I think I feel it's both sometimes wasteful and also sometimes very valuable....maybe I just wish it was 25% less than it is now....so I shouldn't punish myself for the whole category but set a more realistic goal! I think personally we are also in a bit of a financial no man's land right now where we don't have a lot of short-term financial goals, just very long-term ones (retirement, college etc) and that sometimes makes me spin around on certain things.
Yes, I totally understand that!! No one really talks about when you reach a point where you've hit the big financial goals and you're saving enough for retirement that you actually just have extra money to spend however you like. And then how to do that in a smart way. It's a champagne problem for sure, but still a financial challenge.
Senior here. I WANT, REQUIRE you to spend a little bit on going out, buying craft supplies, going on a trip. This is part of life and memory making events. In rough times, which we will all have, it’s nice to remember these breaks.
You are also helping keep coffee shops going, helping people by tipping them, you are now part of the economy! It is okay.
More people are doing second hand shopping, that is part of the adulting phase.
“You are part of the economy.” Yes. I’ve seen this first hand in the third world: Everyone employs someone; the who just depends on your means. They know spending money means someone else gets work. Similarly, if I want cute stores/restaurants/classes in my community , I should become a patron. Plus All money will eventually be spent; the question is just when. There’s an interesting piece to be done here focused on joyful, economy spending
Absolutely a champagne problem! I don't know that we have reached our "enough" goals for retirement and college but we do have more disposable income than we "should" sometimes.
CoastFIRE! I do wish we talked about this more. Would love an entry from a couple with kids who are coastFIRE. (I think we are pretty much there but I’m not comfortable with sharing my finances so thank you to all those who are!)
I think the amount they listed is just not reality in much of the country. Where I live in NJ one meal out with three people is always over $100 unless you are eating fast food or sandwiches and sandwiches here can cost you quite a bit. I’d be curious of what the detail of eating out is(ie how many meals, what type of meals, how many coffee and cookie snacks out).
Hi! This is my entry actually. We don't really eat out often - our date nights are movies or we do quick lunch dates that are to Qdoba or Chipotle. A coffee shop weekend with our kids is $25 normally. We have two local coffee shops that we frequent all the time, and our family and friends often gift us gift cards b/c they know it's a family tradition. We also do a lot of food trucks at our favorite local brewery, and that's about $50 for our whole family. For our birthdays, we go out, and that's $75-$100 with generous tips. For our anniversary in October, we'll probably go a little bit over budget with a really nice meal in Milwaukee at a restaurant that we have been wanting to go to, but we don't do gifts. Our area is also lower cost of living and our kids don't eat a ton at 4 & almost 2. Having lived in Boston, our date nights used to be almost $200! So this is a big shift for us since having kids.
This is how I felt too! I know I live in a HCOL but these kinds of things do drive that home! We moved from Boston to a smaller New England city but the difference is not this much.
With every single one of these, I am so amazed at their grocery and restaurant budget!! Teach me your ways! Even when I TRY to budget, we can never crack <$1000/mo (for groceries alone). We are admittedly big food enjoyers though, and rarely say no to a little treat 😅
The childcare costs are SO real. I never thought about it this way, but we pay more for our nanny share with one child than our mortgage for sure (we also lucked out with 2019 interest rates). We want a second at some point but the thought of paying two childcare expenses is a real sticking point!
We want a second and have the same sticking point. First just changed rooms so daycare went from $454/week to $410/week. But with a second daycare will be far more than what we pay for housing. We can swing it but we may need to reduce retirement contributions for a few years.
I am a senior citizen in Texas. I have been looking at circulars, and trying to find deals. It isn’t you. EVERYTHING is going through the roof. Treats, like mm’s are a sale item only. I have noticed a drop is soda prices because people stopped buying soda. That is a big thing in Texas, keeping hydrated during the summer. I suppose if it gets much more expensive I might try Costco, or Sam’s club but there is only two of us.
With school just days away may I suggest that you buy extra to give to teachers, if you can. Not everyone is doing okay financially and kids are being impacted in so many ways
I'm with you! The grocery spend is so hard to control. Costco helps with snacks....I definitely notice that doing a big Costco shop for "kid snacks" keeps cost down at Target or other places. We are also big food enjoyers and my husband loves to cook and host.
We don’t eat a ton - maybe meat twice a week at home at most? I think it’s mostly snacks that really add up! Groceries just feel SO expensive no matter what! I’m glad it’s not just me though!
Definitely not just you! We’re not big snackers but do go hard on eating quality meat, eggs, and dairy. I fight to keep our grocery bill at $1.4k/month. (We do live in a HCOL area as well.)
I feel you on the grocery bill. I feel like it's gotten worse not better in recent months. I used to be able to do a big shop for around $200, but I recently had a $300 day and I nearly fainted at the cash register, LOL. That's why I always send my husband these days, because he (for better or worse) only buys what's on the grocery list.
It’s for sure getting worse, this is one of our bills that keeps creeping up despite almost the same grocery list every week. Pro tip to send a mission driven husband to the store instead.
We just did the same switch to a more structured daycare, so we are having to cut back too. We want another child as well, and that would easily bring our daycare cost to much more than our mortgage. My partner and I are in constant conversation on the trade off in finding a different field to make more but sacrificing the flexibility in both being able to be very present parents.
I would like to know if I was the only one who just learned that you can buy a quarter of a cow and split it with someone?! This is why I love Home Ec lol. Also, Ioved this contributor in general - so aware of their privilege, but also there's nothing wrong with having it! I think we would all like to have it and give it as well which is why we're learning about more about money. So, I love that for you guys and how you're so mindful of your community and your spending habits!
Yes, here in NJ my local online group was discussing their $800 bills for electricity due to central air! We just have window units thankfully so our bill was under $200 for gas and electric by comparison which I now know is super low for our area.
I’m trying to puzzle around this one, especially since I don’t live too far from this family- her income is only $1,578 more than daycare costs. I’m curious as to why more people don’t find it worth it to stay home with their children when what they’re bringing home isn’t much more than the cost of childcare anyway.
I wish our state legislature would turn towards helping the cost of living in general for families rather than only focusing on daycare which isn’t used by all families.
I can't speak for the writer, but I prefer to think of the salaries spouses earn as joint income that can used to pay for shared family expenses like child care and the mortgage rather than assuming only the wife/mother's salary should cover child care expenses. Both she and her husband benefit from paying for child care, just like they both benefit from paying the mortgage. (She also mentioned in the Q&A section that they share their finances and consider everything to be joint expenses.)
Thank you for your reply, I should have been more clear- I absolutely consider both spouses to be earning joint income. Both spouses certainly experience the losses and benefits of paying for childcare. I only noted hers since it was the smaller income of the two in this case; if they were to live on his salary alone, it might not disrupt their lifestyle as much as if they lived on hers alone.
Something a lot of folks don't consider when thinking through a one-salary household is the company match she is getting for her 401k. That is free money that compounds exponentially over time.
Yes, there is certainly a 401k decision that needs to be factored in, however, nothing about company matching is “free.” It’s part of their benefits package given to employees in exchange for the employees’ work and time. Just like a salary, a 401k comes at the opportunity cost of time with one’s young children.
Hi - this is my submission. 1. $1,578 a month is not nothing - it involves saving money for our children's colleges funds, extras for family, and allows us to live the lifestyle we want to. Also, the most important part, is that I love my career and I work from home specifically to spend more time with our children. Everyone is quite happy with our arrangement. My take home pay also has deducted our childcare FSA which means my take home is decreased.
2. Daycare costs are a part of the cost of living. I believe that over 50% of the U.S.'s working adult households are dual-income, so making daycare costs more affordable is absolutely going to decrease the cost of living. This is money that is already earmarked for childcare that Republicans refuse to use. I encourage you to get involved & find a political cause that means a lot to you.
3. My 401k is essential. My husband could pass, we could divorce, or he could become disabled. This is an important part of planning for our joint future. Work is essential for our society - your comments about opportunity cost are pretty gendered - you don't talk about my husband missing out on time with his children.
I appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts - but as is with a lot of decisions, this isn't just a spreadsheet, it's a carefully constructed life that we are quite proud of.
Thanks for all your work for a stronger democracy!!! So many parents with young families can’t find the time, especially 2 full time workers. I appreciate you finding the time.
I love that people are willing to share their finances. I find areas I need to improve on (and how to do it) and areas where I think "I'm actually doing okay with this." Appreciate that this person shared the privilege they have along with the work they did WITH that privilege to do the things they do. Childcare is so expensive. We are almost equal with our mortgage and preschool costs. It's out of hand.
It's so crazy! And it's upsetting to think how these costs impact low-income families. Such a small percentage of families qualify for subsidized childcare. It leaves people in really tough situations.
Thanks enjoyed this one! Would love to see someone profiled who has a bigger clothing spend! I really enjoy fashion and buying clothes and so does my husband and we fit that into our budget fine. I’d love to see others who fit this into their budget also :)
Love this suggestion! I will look for someone with that profile!
I'm so impressed with their "eating out" monthly spend - that is something we just cannot seem to crack in my household. I feel guilty about it EVERY month but we also love good food and "eating out" can include bread from a favorite local bakery or even bringing a meal to a family who is going through a hard time, plus my husband getting coffee and lunch at work. I need to just make peace with it but it's one of those budget categories I really struggle with!
Our eating out is pretty low, because we don't like any of the restaurants in our town. So it's just a disappointing way to spend money. If I still lived in NYC it would be much higher. So my budget hack is to move somewhere without good restaurants and then complain about it lol.
lol recently moved from NYC to the burbs and this is me exactly!
I’m also baffled by this because one meal for 2 in the Boston area is $150 🥲
Do you have kids? Having young children organically kills your eating out budget because it's such a PITA to go out with them. But on the other hand, it's easy to grab takeout when you're juggling the kids and don't have the time/mental bandwidth to cook! But drinks can be such a big part of the bill when eating out, and that is eliminated with takeout.
We do - we've reached the ages (7 and 9.5) when going out with them is fun. It's definitely a different life stage! And often I find the takeout is pricey as well, all four of us are eating as opposed to life with young kids who don't eat as much.
Honestly same! I keep seeing people spend so little on eating out and it's really making me question how much we're spending
I guess one thing to consider (perhaps playing devil's advocate!) is that maybe it's OK to spend more if that's a category that's important to you and your family.
I’m the single parent of a young adult with complex medical needs. I spend hundreds of hours a month navigating the hellish medical-insurance system, paying huge co-pays, paying cancellation fees on medical appointments she misses because she’s too sick to go. We spend a lot of money on Doordash, because that’s often the only way she will eat something, when there is literally nothing in the fridge except the materials for a grilled cheese. I am happy to buy a lot of things at the thrift store, including art, household needs (cast iron pans, dish racks, Pyrex) and to minimize my clothes spending but I can’t give up the Doordash unless I drive myself to the brink of exhaustion constantly grocery shopping and cooking. Remember I’m the sole carer…so this indulgence and getting a cleaning lady twice a month are the things that keep me sane :). What we spend money on is intimately related to our emotional and physical and mental needs …
Thank you for sharing! I don't think we talk enough about the importance of spending money to take care of our needs. There may be trade offs, but that's OK.
I think I feel it's both sometimes wasteful and also sometimes very valuable....maybe I just wish it was 25% less than it is now....so I shouldn't punish myself for the whole category but set a more realistic goal! I think personally we are also in a bit of a financial no man's land right now where we don't have a lot of short-term financial goals, just very long-term ones (retirement, college etc) and that sometimes makes me spin around on certain things.
Yes, I totally understand that!! No one really talks about when you reach a point where you've hit the big financial goals and you're saving enough for retirement that you actually just have extra money to spend however you like. And then how to do that in a smart way. It's a champagne problem for sure, but still a financial challenge.
Senior here. I WANT, REQUIRE you to spend a little bit on going out, buying craft supplies, going on a trip. This is part of life and memory making events. In rough times, which we will all have, it’s nice to remember these breaks.
You are also helping keep coffee shops going, helping people by tipping them, you are now part of the economy! It is okay.
More people are doing second hand shopping, that is part of the adulting phase.
“You are part of the economy.” Yes. I’ve seen this first hand in the third world: Everyone employs someone; the who just depends on your means. They know spending money means someone else gets work. Similarly, if I want cute stores/restaurants/classes in my community , I should become a patron. Plus All money will eventually be spent; the question is just when. There’s an interesting piece to be done here focused on joyful, economy spending
Absolutely a champagne problem! I don't know that we have reached our "enough" goals for retirement and college but we do have more disposable income than we "should" sometimes.
CoastFIRE! I do wish we talked about this more. Would love an entry from a couple with kids who are coastFIRE. (I think we are pretty much there but I’m not comfortable with sharing my finances so thank you to all those who are!)
I think the amount they listed is just not reality in much of the country. Where I live in NJ one meal out with three people is always over $100 unless you are eating fast food or sandwiches and sandwiches here can cost you quite a bit. I’d be curious of what the detail of eating out is(ie how many meals, what type of meals, how many coffee and cookie snacks out).
Hi! This is my entry actually. We don't really eat out often - our date nights are movies or we do quick lunch dates that are to Qdoba or Chipotle. A coffee shop weekend with our kids is $25 normally. We have two local coffee shops that we frequent all the time, and our family and friends often gift us gift cards b/c they know it's a family tradition. We also do a lot of food trucks at our favorite local brewery, and that's about $50 for our whole family. For our birthdays, we go out, and that's $75-$100 with generous tips. For our anniversary in October, we'll probably go a little bit over budget with a really nice meal in Milwaukee at a restaurant that we have been wanting to go to, but we don't do gifts. Our area is also lower cost of living and our kids don't eat a ton at 4 & almost 2. Having lived in Boston, our date nights used to be almost $200! So this is a big shift for us since having kids.
Thanks for responding. I may need to relocate. lol!
This is how I felt too! I know I live in a HCOL but these kinds of things do drive that home! We moved from Boston to a smaller New England city but the difference is not this much.
With every single one of these, I am so amazed at their grocery and restaurant budget!! Teach me your ways! Even when I TRY to budget, we can never crack <$1000/mo (for groceries alone). We are admittedly big food enjoyers though, and rarely say no to a little treat 😅
The childcare costs are SO real. I never thought about it this way, but we pay more for our nanny share with one child than our mortgage for sure (we also lucked out with 2019 interest rates). We want a second at some point but the thought of paying two childcare expenses is a real sticking point!
We want a second and have the same sticking point. First just changed rooms so daycare went from $454/week to $410/week. But with a second daycare will be far more than what we pay for housing. We can swing it but we may need to reduce retirement contributions for a few years.
I am a senior citizen in Texas. I have been looking at circulars, and trying to find deals. It isn’t you. EVERYTHING is going through the roof. Treats, like mm’s are a sale item only. I have noticed a drop is soda prices because people stopped buying soda. That is a big thing in Texas, keeping hydrated during the summer. I suppose if it gets much more expensive I might try Costco, or Sam’s club but there is only two of us.
With school just days away may I suggest that you buy extra to give to teachers, if you can. Not everyone is doing okay financially and kids are being impacted in so many ways
Folks you are doing well.
I'm with you! The grocery spend is so hard to control. Costco helps with snacks....I definitely notice that doing a big Costco shop for "kid snacks" keeps cost down at Target or other places. We are also big food enjoyers and my husband loves to cook and host.
Same Abby! I always gasp at low grocery spend. But to be fair, my household eats a lot of protein. Does yours?
We don’t eat a ton - maybe meat twice a week at home at most? I think it’s mostly snacks that really add up! Groceries just feel SO expensive no matter what! I’m glad it’s not just me though!
She said she shops at Aldi, which is such a game changer! Just saw this article yesterday: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/06/business/aldi-grocery-expansion.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
Hopefully more can benefit from Aldi’s expansion! Cut my bills by 1/3
Definitely not just you! We’re not big snackers but do go hard on eating quality meat, eggs, and dairy. I fight to keep our grocery bill at $1.4k/month. (We do live in a HCOL area as well.)
I feel you on the grocery bill. I feel like it's gotten worse not better in recent months. I used to be able to do a big shop for around $200, but I recently had a $300 day and I nearly fainted at the cash register, LOL. That's why I always send my husband these days, because he (for better or worse) only buys what's on the grocery list.
It’s for sure getting worse, this is one of our bills that keeps creeping up despite almost the same grocery list every week. Pro tip to send a mission driven husband to the store instead.
We just did the same switch to a more structured daycare, so we are having to cut back too. We want another child as well, and that would easily bring our daycare cost to much more than our mortgage. My partner and I are in constant conversation on the trade off in finding a different field to make more but sacrificing the flexibility in both being able to be very present parents.
It's so hard, Marc! And it's even expensive in low-cost-of-living areas.
I would like to know if I was the only one who just learned that you can buy a quarter of a cow and split it with someone?! This is why I love Home Ec lol. Also, Ioved this contributor in general - so aware of their privilege, but also there's nothing wrong with having it! I think we would all like to have it and give it as well which is why we're learning about more about money. So, I love that for you guys and how you're so mindful of your community and your spending habits!
$65 for electricity and $90 for water is a blessing. Along with only $60 for internet! Wow!
Haha, I felt the same way about the electricity considering how much I've spent to cool my 2-bedroom apt this summer!
Yes, here in NJ my local online group was discussing their $800 bills for electricity due to central air! We just have window units thankfully so our bill was under $200 for gas and electric by comparison which I now know is super low for our area.
Yikes!!
I loved this one!! The opinions on childcare hits home and I also really loved their philosophy on generosity with friends and family.
Same!
Great edition! I also spent more on childcare than my mortgage during the first five years of my kids' life. — Amy Cuevas Schroeder
You are too kind to shout out my ascent into a new decade!!!! 😂 So grateful for you, my friend.
❤️❤️❤️
That grocery number shocks me! I wish I could figure out how to spend less on groceries
I’m trying to puzzle around this one, especially since I don’t live too far from this family- her income is only $1,578 more than daycare costs. I’m curious as to why more people don’t find it worth it to stay home with their children when what they’re bringing home isn’t much more than the cost of childcare anyway.
I wish our state legislature would turn towards helping the cost of living in general for families rather than only focusing on daycare which isn’t used by all families.
I can't speak for the writer, but I prefer to think of the salaries spouses earn as joint income that can used to pay for shared family expenses like child care and the mortgage rather than assuming only the wife/mother's salary should cover child care expenses. Both she and her husband benefit from paying for child care, just like they both benefit from paying the mortgage. (She also mentioned in the Q&A section that they share their finances and consider everything to be joint expenses.)
Thank you for your reply, I should have been more clear- I absolutely consider both spouses to be earning joint income. Both spouses certainly experience the losses and benefits of paying for childcare. I only noted hers since it was the smaller income of the two in this case; if they were to live on his salary alone, it might not disrupt their lifestyle as much as if they lived on hers alone.
Something a lot of folks don't consider when thinking through a one-salary household is the company match she is getting for her 401k. That is free money that compounds exponentially over time.
Yes! Definitely!
Yes, there is certainly a 401k decision that needs to be factored in, however, nothing about company matching is “free.” It’s part of their benefits package given to employees in exchange for the employees’ work and time. Just like a salary, a 401k comes at the opportunity cost of time with one’s young children.
Hi - this is my submission. 1. $1,578 a month is not nothing - it involves saving money for our children's colleges funds, extras for family, and allows us to live the lifestyle we want to. Also, the most important part, is that I love my career and I work from home specifically to spend more time with our children. Everyone is quite happy with our arrangement. My take home pay also has deducted our childcare FSA which means my take home is decreased.
2. Daycare costs are a part of the cost of living. I believe that over 50% of the U.S.'s working adult households are dual-income, so making daycare costs more affordable is absolutely going to decrease the cost of living. This is money that is already earmarked for childcare that Republicans refuse to use. I encourage you to get involved & find a political cause that means a lot to you.
3. My 401k is essential. My husband could pass, we could divorce, or he could become disabled. This is an important part of planning for our joint future. Work is essential for our society - your comments about opportunity cost are pretty gendered - you don't talk about my husband missing out on time with his children.
I appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts - but as is with a lot of decisions, this isn't just a spreadsheet, it's a carefully constructed life that we are quite proud of.
Thank you, Ashley! Well said!!