Home Economics No. 36: Single, 46, and living in Brooklyn on $179,500
She has no plans to ever be in a relationship again
Hello from Portland, Oregon! I’m keeping this intro brief today because I’m running around at FinCon. If you’re at the conference, DM me on Brella! I’d love to meet!
Today’s Home Economics is an inspiring one! The writer really turned her financial life around over the past six years, going from being tens of thousands of dollars in debt to having a net worth of half a million. And she did it without the support of a spouse. (Yes, there was some inheritance involved, but that was just a small piece of it.)
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Age: 46
Location: Brooklyn
Relationship status: Single AF
About me: I am a single Latina woman with no kids living in Brooklyn. I work in branding and marketing research in the food and beverage industry. I’ve lived in NYC for over 17 years and sometimes think about leaving, but I will likely be here at least until I retire. I do not have a partner, nor do I want one, and I have two cats and a dog.
Income:
Your job title/salary: Senior manager, $179,500 plus 15% annual bonus
Your monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): $8,125
Total monthly income: $8,125
Account balances:
Checking account balance: $3,500
Savings account balance: $2,682
High-yield savings account balance: $191,562 (3.5% APY)
Monthly contribution to savings account: $200 to the smaller account
Retirement account(s) balance:
401(k): $236,087
Roth IRA: $18,495
Monthly contribution to retirement accounts: I max out my 401(k), which works out to $2,022 a month, plus my employer matches 6% ($449.32). I still haven’t figured out how to do a backdoor Roth contribution, or if I even can do that given my income, but I’m not sweating it.
Investment account balance:
Brokerage account: $33,567
Inherited IRA: $2,854. I am rolling the required minimum distributions (around $300 per year) from this IRA into the brokerage account.
Monthly contribution to investment accounts: $700
Emergency fund balance: My HYSA includes my emergency fund.
Goals-oriented savings accounts: The smaller savings account is what I use for fun goals like travel funds or larger purchases.
Total in checking, savings, and investment accounts: $508,2071
Housing:
Size of your home: I live in a one-bedroom, one-bath apartment in a converted brownstone.
Rent: $3,450
Year you moved into your apartment: August 2020
How many times has your landlord raised the rent: When I moved in, I got a good deal because of the pandemic. Rent was $2,750, and the landlord promised not to raise the rent for two years. They’ve raised it each year since 2022, but I’m still paying under market rate, and this is the best apartment I’ve ever lived in.
Renters insurance: $164 per year
Electricity and natural gas: $175 on average, includes gas for cooking and hot water
Water: N/A. I only pay for hot water, which is covered by my gas payment.
Cell phone: $25. I use Visible.
Internet: $95
Housekeeper: N/A. I am a sicko who loves cleaning.
Transportation:
Monthly car payment: I don’t own a car.
Monthly public transportation: $220. I reverse commute on the Metro-North one to two times per week and pay per ride on the subway.
Ride shares (Uber, taxi, etc.): I rarely do ride share; when I do, it’s usually work-related, and I get reimbursed.
Children:
Number of children and their ages: I don’t have kids.
Debts:
Student loan total balance: None. I am extremely lucky that I had a scholarship that covered half my tuition, and my dad paid the other half. I did take out one semester of loans in grad school for money to live on, but it was less than $20,000. I graduated from grad school in 2008, and I paid off my loan balance over 10 years.
Student loan monthly payment: The monthly payment was $140, but I always paid $150 (an extra $10 toward the principal), so I could pay it off faster.
Credit card balance (if you carry a balance month to month): I use a 2% cashback credit card for most expenses, but I pay it off in full every month.
Food:
Groceries: I spend between $450 and $500 a month. I do HungryRoot for $108 a week most weeks, which covers most dinners and snacks. Then I pick up extras at the grocery store (things like yogurt, bread, and fresh fruits and vegetables for breakfast and lunch) as needed.
Dining out: $50–$100 a month. I get takeout maybe once every few months; sometimes I eat lunch at our work cafeteria, and I might have one dinner out with friends each month. Since I work in the food and beverage industry, I eat out a lot for my job. That scratches any itch I have to eat out, so it’s not a big personal expense for me.
Socializing and Entertainment:
Subscriptions (streaming services, magazines, etc.): $143 a month, includes Netflix, Spotify, Hulu, HBOMax, podcast subscriptions, The New York Times, and YouTubeTV
Movies, concerts, other events: ~$800 annually. I go to one or two concerts a year for around $300 a pop. I see movies maybe once or twice a year for around $20 per, and I go to sports events a few times a year for $20–$150 a ticket. I might see a Broadway show once a year for around $300.
Entertaining and socializing other: I sometimes take my dog out to one of the many bars in my neighborhood; that’s usually around $30 for a few drinks plus tip.
Travel: I travel a lot for my job, so I’m usually happy to stay home. I visit my mom for the holidays; the plane ticket usually runs around $500. Later this year, I’m taking a trip to Belize, and that is $4,500, all in.
Miscellaneous:
Clothing: I tend to spend more at the beginning/end of season. It averages out to around $250 a month. I’m strictly an online shopper. I don’t have the patience to shop in person, and I’m petite, and most stores don’t carry my sizes at their physical locations.
Home supplies: $50
Exercise: $300 a month for gym membership plus coaching. Being active is very important to me.
Personal and self-care (haircuts, manicures, massages, etc.): I do my own nails, but I love skincare and haircare. It’s around $100 a month for the various products I use. I get my hair cut twice a year, and it’s usually around $350 per haircut (includes tip).
Pet expenses:
Food, cat litter, treats, and toys for all the pets: ~$125
Annual wellness checkups at the vet: $500 per pet
Dog’s heartworm and flea meds: ~$350 for a year supply
Pet insurance: N/A. I priced it out, and it was on the expensive side! I have experienced pet emergencies in the past, but I have the cash on hand to deal with them so I’m OK going without insurance for my mini zoo.
Donations:
I donate $50 minimum to The New York Public Library, as all the books I read are borrowed. I usually give more during donation drives, but the $50 is my automatic annual donation.
I give $1,000 yearly to a local community fund.
When I have friends raising money for a cause my policy is always to donate $100. Usually that totals around $500–$600 annually.
I also regularly pare down my closet and unused things around the house, and a local charity picks up these donations a couple times a year.
Events (birthday parties, etc.): I usually throw a big party for friends once a year, and between decorations, food, and drinks, I spend about $300.
Other: I work with my mom’s financial advisor, and I pay a 1% fee on the investments he manages. He only manages my small brokerage account, but he offers me advice on my whole financial picture, so I feel OK about paying the fee.
Insurance:
Life insurance: I don’t have any dependents, so I don’t pay for life insurance.
Health insurance: My job pays the premium in full for my HDHP. For vision and dental, I pay $16.40 monthly.
FSA contribution: I don’t contribute to an FSA.
HSA contribution: I max out my yearly contribution. It’s around $348 a month. My employer also kicks in $10 a month as a partial reimbursement for our dental and vision premiums.
HSA balance: I invest my HSA contributions; in total I have $19,460 in that account. I’m saving it to pay for my healthcare when I retire.
Other insurance costs: I’m very lucky to be in great health. My only additional costs are for the inevitable diagnostic imaging I have to do after my annual mammogram. I have dense breasts and a history of benign cysts, lumps, and calcifications, so I always have to do follow-ups, and that costs around $350 yearly.
Total monthly spending (includes annual expenses divided by 12): $7,785.01
Tell us more:
What are your top financial priorities?
I want to continue to be financially independent, and I’d like to retire early. I have a financial planner, and we’re aiming for me to retire between 55 and 60, maybe later because I like my job, and I might want to stick around and save more. I’ve gone through periods of financial instability before (mainly when I was in grad school and making very little money), and it’s stressful. I just want to stay in a place where I don’t have to count my pennies, and where I can buy what I want and need without having to cut back somewhere else.
How do you feel about your current financial situation?
I feel great about it! I’ve worked very hard to get where I am. I didn’t really start thinking about my finances until I turned 40. I had been working low-salary jobs at a nonprofit and freelancing, but then I decided I needed to really buckle down and get serious. I’ve negotiated hard for higher salaries and better benefits, and despite living in a very HCOL area, I’m making saving my priority while also spending on what I love. I read Ramit Sethi’s book I Will Teach You to Be Rich, and that was life-changing for me. I learned I can save while also enjoying my life, and that it’s never too late to start getting your financial life in order.
What are your money stressors?
I don’t really have any currently! Last year, I thought about buying a property upstate and went almost all the way through the process, but the deal fell through close to closing. It was an incredibly stressful time with filling out all the paperwork and providing all the documentation. Plus I literally lost sleep at night thinking about the appraisal process. In the end, I was thankful it didn’t go through. I am happy to stay in Brooklyn for the time being, even if rent is expensive. Not having a car really offsets a lot of the housing cost and reduces a huge amount of stress.
Do you expect to receive (or have you received) an inheritance from a family member?
My dad died a couple of years ago, and I inherited some money from him ($150,000 of my HYSA balance, plus the inherited IRA). I probably should invest that money, but I am thinking about buying a coop or condo here in the next few years, so it’s staying put and earning interest for now. My mom is aging, but she’s doing pretty well. We have open discussions about her assets, as I am one of the executors of the estate, along with my brother. She has paid off the mortgage on her house, and she has a fair number of investments. It’s likely my brother and I will each receive around $500,000 when she passes, which I hope does not happen for a very long time.
My godparents have also told me that they have provided for me in their will, but I don’t know the specifics.Do you receive any financial support from your family?
I do not currently receive any direct financial support from my family, and I never have. My dad paid for half my college tuition as part of his divorce agreement with my mom, so that definitely made my education costs much easier. I went to grad school for a social science PhD but received a stipend and tuition remission. As I mentioned before, that was a tough time financially because I wasn’t allowed to have an off-campus job. I still paid my rent and living expenses myself without help, even though it was pretty lean at times.
Do you financially support any family members beyond yourself and your nuclear family?
I know I am the top earner in my family by a lot, and I am happy to help them out if they ask (they haven’t; we all share the same financial planner, and he has created solid wealth plans for all of us). My mom and my brother are both doing pretty well—she’s been retired for a while, and he’s probably about 10 years out from retiring.
For my niece’s 22nd birthday, I gave her money to start a Roth IRA. She works full time, but she isn’t pulling down enough to live on her own, and I wanted her to start thinking about her future earlier than I did. I also gave her a copy of I Will Teach You to be Rich to help demystify investing, and she said it’s been really helpful in understanding her money mindset. Every year on her birthday, I give her a couple hundred dollars to “match” her regular contributions to the IRA. She is my primary beneficiary for all of my assets, so someday I will be the rich old aunt who leaves her a fortune when I die.
How does being single impact how you manage your money?
As I mentioned earlier, when I turned 40, I knew I really needed to get my financial act together. In my late 30s, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, and I decided that I just wasn’t a relationship person. At 40, I had left New York City and was back living with my mom, trying to pay off my debt, and I was doing a lot of thinking about my life in general. I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, and I also knew a man wasn’t going to come and save me. It seems cliche, but turning 40 really inspired me to transform my financial life. I found a better-paying job, started saving more in my 401(k), and generally turned my financial situation around.
It’s frustrating because so much financial advice out there is geared toward couples. And for single women, the narrative is a lot of doom and gloom. But I’ve found that there are decisions you can make to alleviate some of the stress of doing it on your own. I recognize I have a lot of privilege, but I also think it’s important to showcase single women who are financially successful.
What is one financial goal(s) you still want to achieve?
Early retirement. I love my job, but I’m really looking forward to the day I don’t have to work. This is why I’m socking away as much as I can, so I can have more time to enjoy it later (while still enjoying some of that now).Tell us about one financial accomplishment you’re proud of.
I don’t currently have any debt, but years ago, I was $32,000 in the hole after a ton of unexpected expenses and a very sick cat who I would do anything to save. The cat didn’t make it, and I wound up taking money from my 401(k) to pay down the debt. I didn’t know what a terrible move that was at the time. During that time, I had to do a lot of thinking about my life—what I wanted to do for work, how I would live, where I would live. I moved in with my mom briefly and paid off all the debt within three years, got a new job that paid literally twice what I’d made before, and started maxing out all of my retirement contributions to catch up. Now, six years later, I’ve gone from a net worth of negative $30,000 to more than half a million dollars. (And yes, $150,000 of that is inherited money, but that’s still pretty good!)
What do you regret spending your money on the most?
The aforementioned sick cat. I loved him so much, but he had an aggressive cancer, and treatment just wasn’t working. It was a really tough period for both of us. I regret being selfish and wish I’d let him go peacefully without putting him through all the vet visits and chemo. It’s not even about the money, really; it’s more about the quality of life. It wasn’t worth it at all. Last year, I had another cat who was diagnosed with cancer, and this time, given the intensity of the treatment options and his advanced age, I opted not to treat it. The moment things took a turn, I had a vet come and give him euthanasia at home. It was peaceful, we minimized his pain, and it was 100% the right decision.
What is one thing you spend money on that makes your life better?
The gym. It’s a great community, I have a lot of friends there, and it’s my daily break from everything going on in the world. My coach does my programming for powerlifting, and I’ve gotten so much stronger, and I feel like I’m aging in reverse. I will always invest in my body; it’s the only one I’ve got.
What is one thing you spend money on that drives you crazy?
Commuting! Luckily, I work mostly from home, so it’s not that big of a deal. And I would much rather pay for a train than have to maintain a car. I haven’t owned a car since I moved to NYC, and I do not miss all the headaches I endured with repairs, traffic, insurance, gas, etc.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I am very privileged, and I know that. But I have also worked very hard to establish myself in my career and demand to be paid what I’m worth. And I’ve made a lot of choices that have allowed me to save as much as I have—my life would look way different if I’d chosen to have kids, for instance. But if you’ve made the decision to be a single woman on your own, it’s not an impossible situation. There are points in my life where I could have married into money or a different lifestyle, and it was more important to me to be independent and in charge of my own destiny. I’ve done what makes ME happy. I recognize it’s not what would make EVERYONE happy.
Please comment with kindness!
In Case You Missed It in The Purse
This includes her HSA, which is listed in the insurance section.
Loved this bit: "Someday I will be the rich old aunt who leaves her a fortune when I die."
This was so inspiring. I'm a 39 year old woman and though I'm getting married in 6 weeks (and truly had no plans/desire to do so until I met my fiance), I still very much think independently when it comes to our finances and we've committed to keeping our money separate. I feel so behind when it comes to saving for retirement, but reading how this woman really turned things around at 40 gives me hope. I love my future spouse, but like this writer, have no belief that a man will "save me" and have always wanted to remain financially independent no matter what. Thank you so much, Lindsey, for offering a financial picture of a single woman in a HCOL city! It's really helpful for women who are choosing to remain unpartnered or keeping finances separate from their partners.