I think you are too hard on yourself. What does it even mean for a hobby to not be "productive?" That seems needlessly limiting and putting even more pressure on yourself, another form of perfectionism. You run, you read a lot, you follow the Red Sox, you do crossword puzzles....all of those are hobbies in my book. If you want to mend some gloves, why not? Being curious and learning new things is how you might find new hobbies, anyway.
I think a hobby is something you do just because you enjoy it, not because someone (you, your child, your parent, your boss) depends on it. Crossword puzzles are fun. Following a sports team is fun. Selling furniture is a wonderful way to tend your home while interacting with your community.
Who cares if some rando thought it wasn't "traditional"? Nothing in the world starts as "traditional" until suddenly it is!
(Also, let's take a moment to appreciate that passing furniture from one owner to another is far more "traditional" than our current home decorating model of one-click shopping and buying everything from big box stores.)
A hobby is anything you do primarily for enjoyment or fun. The existence of secondary benefits (making money, staying healthy) do not invalidate its status as a hobby, as long as those secondary benefits don’t detract from the primary purpose of FUN!
I recommend lowering the barrier to entry, being less rigid about what counts, and guving yourself permission to try stuff and drop stuff as you see fit. That’s what makes hobbies feel like leisure to me… they are not another GCal reminder that must be manage or commitment I feel guilty about missing. I get to expand or contract their presence in my life to meet my needs.
LOVE that you mention following pop culture as a hobby! So many men look down on that. Do you read HUNG UP by Hunter Harris? It's my favorite pop culture newsletter!
Following sports is the masculine equivalent to following pop culture. The personalities, the scandals, the drama, the relationships! Marrying someone who is NBA obsessed helped me see the parallels.
And yes Hung Up is my fave on Substack! I’m also an avid Who Weekly podcast listener :)
I love this framing so much. A very nerdy friend of mine (no shade to nerds, I am also one!) once characterized fantasy sports teams as "LARPing for bros," and it still makes me laugh every time I think of it!
I think it was Rachel Syme who once noted on twitter that she becomes very into things for a quarter or a half year or however long she wants. It was very freeing to think - wow I can get into this deeply for three months and move on or I can keep with it! I’ve taken that approach over the last few years and have gotten very invested in F1 and golfing (playing and watching). I was into running but then decided i didn’t enjoy it as much so now I just walk! I think if we loosen the structures around how we think something “should” be anything can be hobby if you enjoy it.
I have always been a big reader, it brings me such joy. I'm in 3 IRL book clubs . I love being pushed out of my comfort zone to read books I normally wouldn't. And I love the discussions, I learn so much. I always loved school and can't want until I am 60 and can go audit classes at college for free. I am on all the bookstore newsletter lists so try to go to author readings when I see them. I tried that silent reading in a group thing that is so trendy these days and hated it. I was so uncomfortable sitting on a bench in a bar surrounded by strangers, it was like reading on the subway. I write long Goodreads reviews of each book I read. I collect various first editions of authors. I enjoy thrifting and used book stores to look for finds. I also do puzzles and embroider. I love board games so try to set up regular game nights with friends.
My weird, 21st century hobby is attending school board meetings dominated by a 5-4 anti public school majority, live "tweeting" the meetings (on bluesky), and emailing 500 of my community members, which has resulted in some less-terrible-than -they-could-have been policies and creating accountability for those elected officials, which is my idea of fun and a good use of my time and skills. Definitely not for everyone!
They're *so* terrible and have told multiple people I am "making their lives a living hell" so it's hard...but fun. (I've also made police reports against a resident who is harassing me because of it, so that's also "fun.") But I've made a lot of friends along the way.
I very much relate to this feeling of wanting to have a hobby and also being pulled in a lot of other directions—business owner, clinician, writer, mom, etc.
I’m learning to relate to the part of me that is hungry to engage in a new way that isn’t for some measurable outcome—a totally beautiful and likely sanity saving desire—while also acknowledging I’ll likely never have less time to myself than I do right now.
I see a lot of people encouraging the perspective of being looser with what it needs to be and I think that’s where I’m landing right now until I can do something more formal. I often ask clients when they’re feeling a similar stirring, “What did you love to do as a kid?” Sometimes it’s just a fun reflection and other times it provides trailheads.
Is obsessive reading of financial Substacks, watching financial podcasts, and asking chatgpt to run countless different financial scenarios a hobby? For my own sake, I can only hope. Sounds like reading is one of your hobbies. FYI, the mending circle at TAC is very chill, and from my one time attending, my guess is that most people there don't know each other, so showing up alone isn't uncomfortable. I have visions of going regularly, and also to one of the birdwatching outings in PP, but I'm also an extroverted introvert who gives it all elsewhere and then is done, so I have low followthrough success rates. Super sweaty and possibly dorky but also on my I'd love to go list (and maybe should be on yours) are the drop-in Brooklyn Contra dance classes. I have stopped in to watch multiple times and it really looks like a blast, and no partner is required. I stand there smiling and promise myself I'll come back. I don't think of service as a hobby, but maybe it is. If that's the case then my hobby time is full already with food rescue for the community, and helping injured birds and lost pets and all that jazz.
Oh good to know about the mending circle at TAC! I really should check it out. And as someone who writes a money newsletter, I'll say that *reading* them can definitely be a hobby! ;)
I love how you mentioned productivity and how it relates to a hobby. I struggle with relaxing and doing something just for myself. One thing that really helps is leaving the house, which you mentioned wanting to do, but just for me time (fellow introvert!!).
I'll go to a coffee shop or lunch by myself with my kindle or a magazine just to relax and read. For some reason I have a hard time doing that at home (probably because I can do so many other "productive" things!!) but I give myself that time somewhere else. I've needlepointed in the past and also make felt ornaments. I haven't gotten back into either of those lately but this has me thinking maybe if I leave my house I would take the time to get back into it.
For now my Substack is a hobby. I'm trying to put little pressure on myself so it's fun. Now did I get extremely frustrated trying to create a logo and learn how to set it up? Yes, so I don't consider that hobby time. But now as I write an article I consider that a hobby. If I get frustrated or annoyed then I take a break because it's supposed to be fun since I want it to be a hobby I enjoy.
I didn't get into it here, but I do think learning/trying hard things/getting outside your comfort zone are all valuable parts of having a hobby, so your frustration setting up the Substack is just part of the process!
I joined the adult summer reading program at our local library when I signed my kids up for the children’s reading program! I love to read, but it often falls to the bottom of the list, especially ‘frivolous’ fiction books.
I’ve taken up learning Italian language with an actual group (adult ed community college night class; now found a nonprofit language school in my metro area.) 2 hours of class per week plus some simple homework. I appreciate that it’s a both an activity that I can easily do in my own time (i.e. practice) and also socially by learning with a group too. With the craziness of 2025, it’s nice to have an achievable goal, a social and intellectual outlet, and learn about a new culture/place.
I immediately thought of this terrific essay by the always thought-provoking Anne Helen Petersen, particularly this line:
"The secret isn’t having a part-time job, although a flexible one certainly helps. It’s also not 'having no children,' because all sorts of people have kids and hobbies. 'Being financially secure' is the secret to everything, so while it’s instrumental to finding time for a hobby, it’s not actually the secret to having one. The secret is deprioritizing the things I don’t actually care about but have historically internalized I should."
There is a lot of pressure on women in particular (!) to do all the things, do them well, AND make it look effortless. Hobbies can be yet another way women feel measured and evaluated according to societal standards around accomplishment and optimization, which sucks all the joy out of having a hobby, in my opinion. Maybe the questions you can ask yourself to help narrow in on a hobby (or hobbies) are two-fold: 1) what sounds fun or like something I actually WANT to spend time doing? and 2) where can I let my standards lower or be "bad" at something in order to get some time back for #1?
In the last few months my hobby has become the new WNBA team in the Bay Area, the Golden State Valkyries. I have season tickets with friends and that has led to getting together before/after games with other season tickets holders, watching games on TV, and reading all kinds of newsletters and articles about the WNBA and the Valkyries. I’m obsessed, and totally loving it!! It’s such a joyful thing in an otherwise very dark time.
omg I'm so behind finally reading the comments on this post but I'm ALSO a Valkyries season ticket holder and they are 100% my fave hobby currently. It's just all hope and joy and low stakes (for me personally) but enough stakes (sports-wise) to be interesting.
I took on sports as a hobby last year too after not really following any growing up – I even started playing fantasy football! My next one to get into is hockey, especially because Seattle is getting a women's expansion team!
Mending is kind of the antithesis of productivity in the sense that it is an act of quiet anticapitalist resistance to fix a thing instead of buying a new one. In case that helps you decide to go. TAC classes and one-night workshops are rad, too.
If what you want from a hobby is the communal aspect with your friends (in a way that's not planned social ACTIVITY), might I suggest "parallel play" hangouts? Have your friend come lay on your couch while you're cleaning the kitchen. Go read a book while your friend folds laundry in the next room. No pressure to interact or entertain each other. It's relaxing and restorative and weirdly intimate. And you don't have to learn a new skill to do it.
But if you do want to try boxing, try Jukebox in South Slope!
I tend to define "hobby" as any activity I enjoy doing that isn't my full time job....photography, baking, horseback riding, walks with family. I also do equine barefoot trimming as a part-time gig, but would keep doing it even if I "made enough" at my full time job because I like doing it!
Sometimes I feel like we put too much pressure on having to be good at hobbies. I have heard a lot of friends recently say something along the lines of, "oh I wish I would have played tennis growing up, then I could have it as a hobby now". Their argument was that taking lessons would take time. My argument back is that 1. why can't the hobby just be you and a friend going to hit a tennis ball? Are you going to be Serena Williams? Absolutely not. But will it get you out talking to friends and moving your body? Okay great. That feels like that should be a goal of a hobby anyway. 2. To the it would take time portion (though I understand your comment was more of a spending money on it vs. spending time), even if you were a supreme tennis player, an hour playing great tennis is still the same amount of time as an hour getting lessons
In the name of hobbies being things you enjoy that you spend your leisure time doing, my hobbies include reading long form blogs (now almost all moved over to Substack), reading books, trying a new workout class, going on long walks, and trying new to me restaurants.
I think you are too hard on yourself. What does it even mean for a hobby to not be "productive?" That seems needlessly limiting and putting even more pressure on yourself, another form of perfectionism. You run, you read a lot, you follow the Red Sox, you do crossword puzzles....all of those are hobbies in my book. If you want to mend some gloves, why not? Being curious and learning new things is how you might find new hobbies, anyway.
Yes, yes, these are all valid points! :)
Yes, exactly! Those are all hobbies already!
I think a hobby is something you do just because you enjoy it, not because someone (you, your child, your parent, your boss) depends on it. Crossword puzzles are fun. Following a sports team is fun. Selling furniture is a wonderful way to tend your home while interacting with your community.
Who cares if some rando thought it wasn't "traditional"? Nothing in the world starts as "traditional" until suddenly it is!
(Also, let's take a moment to appreciate that passing furniture from one owner to another is far more "traditional" than our current home decorating model of one-click shopping and buying everything from big box stores.)
A hobby is anything you do primarily for enjoyment or fun. The existence of secondary benefits (making money, staying healthy) do not invalidate its status as a hobby, as long as those secondary benefits don’t detract from the primary purpose of FUN!
I recommend lowering the barrier to entry, being less rigid about what counts, and guving yourself permission to try stuff and drop stuff as you see fit. That’s what makes hobbies feel like leisure to me… they are not another GCal reminder that must be manage or commitment I feel guilty about missing. I get to expand or contract their presence in my life to meet my needs.
My hobbies are reading, singing (i’m in a very casual weekly choir), following pop culture, swimming, and home decor.
LOVE that you mention following pop culture as a hobby! So many men look down on that. Do you read HUNG UP by Hunter Harris? It's my favorite pop culture newsletter!
Following sports is the masculine equivalent to following pop culture. The personalities, the scandals, the drama, the relationships! Marrying someone who is NBA obsessed helped me see the parallels.
And yes Hung Up is my fave on Substack! I’m also an avid Who Weekly podcast listener :)
I love this framing so much. A very nerdy friend of mine (no shade to nerds, I am also one!) once characterized fantasy sports teams as "LARPing for bros," and it still makes me laugh every time I think of it!
A friend of mine once described economics as “astrology for men” and I giggle every time I think about it.
Omg! Hilarious!!
I think it was Rachel Syme who once noted on twitter that she becomes very into things for a quarter or a half year or however long she wants. It was very freeing to think - wow I can get into this deeply for three months and move on or I can keep with it! I’ve taken that approach over the last few years and have gotten very invested in F1 and golfing (playing and watching). I was into running but then decided i didn’t enjoy it as much so now I just walk! I think if we loosen the structures around how we think something “should” be anything can be hobby if you enjoy it.
My brother and son are both like this. They go wayyyy deep into something for a while and then move onto other interests.
I have always been a big reader, it brings me such joy. I'm in 3 IRL book clubs . I love being pushed out of my comfort zone to read books I normally wouldn't. And I love the discussions, I learn so much. I always loved school and can't want until I am 60 and can go audit classes at college for free. I am on all the bookstore newsletter lists so try to go to author readings when I see them. I tried that silent reading in a group thing that is so trendy these days and hated it. I was so uncomfortable sitting on a bench in a bar surrounded by strangers, it was like reading on the subway. I write long Goodreads reviews of each book I read. I collect various first editions of authors. I enjoy thrifting and used book stores to look for finds. I also do puzzles and embroider. I love board games so try to set up regular game nights with friends.
I love that you push yourself to read books outside your comfort zone!
My weird, 21st century hobby is attending school board meetings dominated by a 5-4 anti public school majority, live "tweeting" the meetings (on bluesky), and emailing 500 of my community members, which has resulted in some less-terrible-than -they-could-have been policies and creating accountability for those elected officials, which is my idea of fun and a good use of my time and skills. Definitely not for everyone!
Oh man, that's important work!!
They're *so* terrible and have told multiple people I am "making their lives a living hell" so it's hard...but fun. (I've also made police reports against a resident who is harassing me because of it, so that's also "fun.") But I've made a lot of friends along the way.
I very much relate to this feeling of wanting to have a hobby and also being pulled in a lot of other directions—business owner, clinician, writer, mom, etc.
I’m learning to relate to the part of me that is hungry to engage in a new way that isn’t for some measurable outcome—a totally beautiful and likely sanity saving desire—while also acknowledging I’ll likely never have less time to myself than I do right now.
I see a lot of people encouraging the perspective of being looser with what it needs to be and I think that’s where I’m landing right now until I can do something more formal. I often ask clients when they’re feeling a similar stirring, “What did you love to do as a kid?” Sometimes it’s just a fun reflection and other times it provides trailheads.
Is obsessive reading of financial Substacks, watching financial podcasts, and asking chatgpt to run countless different financial scenarios a hobby? For my own sake, I can only hope. Sounds like reading is one of your hobbies. FYI, the mending circle at TAC is very chill, and from my one time attending, my guess is that most people there don't know each other, so showing up alone isn't uncomfortable. I have visions of going regularly, and also to one of the birdwatching outings in PP, but I'm also an extroverted introvert who gives it all elsewhere and then is done, so I have low followthrough success rates. Super sweaty and possibly dorky but also on my I'd love to go list (and maybe should be on yours) are the drop-in Brooklyn Contra dance classes. I have stopped in to watch multiple times and it really looks like a blast, and no partner is required. I stand there smiling and promise myself I'll come back. I don't think of service as a hobby, but maybe it is. If that's the case then my hobby time is full already with food rescue for the community, and helping injured birds and lost pets and all that jazz.
Oh good to know about the mending circle at TAC! I really should check it out. And as someone who writes a money newsletter, I'll say that *reading* them can definitely be a hobby! ;)
Lindsey I will mend with you!!! Let’s do TAC together please and thank you.
Erica, I share your obsessive financial hobby. And contra dancing is a blast!
Oooh you need to read Marina Cooley’s newsletter! She’s a hobby advocate and has a Substack post all about 17 hobbies she tried https://www.instagram.com/profmarinacooley?igsh=a2RkM2o3ZTh5ZnI=
She’s inspired me to think more about hobbies
+1 came here to recommend Marina Cooley's Instagram/newsletter! She's a big champion of moms having hobbies
Came here to recommend Marina too! Love her and her Substack!! https://professoroffduty.substack.com
I love how you mentioned productivity and how it relates to a hobby. I struggle with relaxing and doing something just for myself. One thing that really helps is leaving the house, which you mentioned wanting to do, but just for me time (fellow introvert!!).
I'll go to a coffee shop or lunch by myself with my kindle or a magazine just to relax and read. For some reason I have a hard time doing that at home (probably because I can do so many other "productive" things!!) but I give myself that time somewhere else. I've needlepointed in the past and also make felt ornaments. I haven't gotten back into either of those lately but this has me thinking maybe if I leave my house I would take the time to get back into it.
For now my Substack is a hobby. I'm trying to put little pressure on myself so it's fun. Now did I get extremely frustrated trying to create a logo and learn how to set it up? Yes, so I don't consider that hobby time. But now as I write an article I consider that a hobby. If I get frustrated or annoyed then I take a break because it's supposed to be fun since I want it to be a hobby I enjoy.
Thanks for prompting the thoughts and discussion!
I didn't get into it here, but I do think learning/trying hard things/getting outside your comfort zone are all valuable parts of having a hobby, so your frustration setting up the Substack is just part of the process!
Thanks for the recommendation, Afoma! I will check it out!
I joined the adult summer reading program at our local library when I signed my kids up for the children’s reading program! I love to read, but it often falls to the bottom of the list, especially ‘frivolous’ fiction books.
I did this this summer too! So fun. And a great way to encourage your kids to read too!
That's so fun!
I’ve taken up learning Italian language with an actual group (adult ed community college night class; now found a nonprofit language school in my metro area.) 2 hours of class per week plus some simple homework. I appreciate that it’s a both an activity that I can easily do in my own time (i.e. practice) and also socially by learning with a group too. With the craziness of 2025, it’s nice to have an achievable goal, a social and intellectual outlet, and learn about a new culture/place.
That's a fantastic hobby!!
I immediately thought of this terrific essay by the always thought-provoking Anne Helen Petersen, particularly this line:
"The secret isn’t having a part-time job, although a flexible one certainly helps. It’s also not 'having no children,' because all sorts of people have kids and hobbies. 'Being financially secure' is the secret to everything, so while it’s instrumental to finding time for a hobby, it’s not actually the secret to having one. The secret is deprioritizing the things I don’t actually care about but have historically internalized I should."
There is a lot of pressure on women in particular (!) to do all the things, do them well, AND make it look effortless. Hobbies can be yet another way women feel measured and evaluated according to societal standards around accomplishment and optimization, which sucks all the joy out of having a hobby, in my opinion. Maybe the questions you can ask yourself to help narrow in on a hobby (or hobbies) are two-fold: 1) what sounds fun or like something I actually WANT to spend time doing? and 2) where can I let my standards lower or be "bad" at something in order to get some time back for #1?
https://annehelen.substack.com/p/the-secret-to-a-hobby-filled-life
In the last few months my hobby has become the new WNBA team in the Bay Area, the Golden State Valkyries. I have season tickets with friends and that has led to getting together before/after games with other season tickets holders, watching games on TV, and reading all kinds of newsletters and articles about the WNBA and the Valkyries. I’m obsessed, and totally loving it!! It’s such a joyful thing in an otherwise very dark time.
omg I'm so behind finally reading the comments on this post but I'm ALSO a Valkyries season ticket holder and they are 100% my fave hobby currently. It's just all hope and joy and low stakes (for me personally) but enough stakes (sports-wise) to be interesting.
GO VALKS!!!!!!
I took on sports as a hobby last year too after not really following any growing up – I even started playing fantasy football! My next one to get into is hockey, especially because Seattle is getting a women's expansion team!
I love that, Annika! So fun!!
Mending is kind of the antithesis of productivity in the sense that it is an act of quiet anticapitalist resistance to fix a thing instead of buying a new one. In case that helps you decide to go. TAC classes and one-night workshops are rad, too.
If what you want from a hobby is the communal aspect with your friends (in a way that's not planned social ACTIVITY), might I suggest "parallel play" hangouts? Have your friend come lay on your couch while you're cleaning the kitchen. Go read a book while your friend folds laundry in the next room. No pressure to interact or entertain each other. It's relaxing and restorative and weirdly intimate. And you don't have to learn a new skill to do it.
But if you do want to try boxing, try Jukebox in South Slope!
I tend to define "hobby" as any activity I enjoy doing that isn't my full time job....photography, baking, horseback riding, walks with family. I also do equine barefoot trimming as a part-time gig, but would keep doing it even if I "made enough" at my full time job because I like doing it!
Sometimes I feel like we put too much pressure on having to be good at hobbies. I have heard a lot of friends recently say something along the lines of, "oh I wish I would have played tennis growing up, then I could have it as a hobby now". Their argument was that taking lessons would take time. My argument back is that 1. why can't the hobby just be you and a friend going to hit a tennis ball? Are you going to be Serena Williams? Absolutely not. But will it get you out talking to friends and moving your body? Okay great. That feels like that should be a goal of a hobby anyway. 2. To the it would take time portion (though I understand your comment was more of a spending money on it vs. spending time), even if you were a supreme tennis player, an hour playing great tennis is still the same amount of time as an hour getting lessons
In the name of hobbies being things you enjoy that you spend your leisure time doing, my hobbies include reading long form blogs (now almost all moved over to Substack), reading books, trying a new workout class, going on long walks, and trying new to me restaurants.
I think there's definitely something to be said for doing things that you're not inherently good at!
Mahjong is hot where I live right now. Guarantee you can find a mahjong crew in Brooklyn!