Just wanted to add this beautiful message from Renee Good's wife:
"If you ever encountered my wife, Renee Nicole Macklin Good, you know that above all else, she was kind. In fact, kindness radiated out of her.
Renee sparkled. She literally sparkled. I mean, she didn’t wear glitter but I swear she had sparkles coming out of her pores. All the time. You might think it was just my love talking but her family said the same thing. Renee was made of sunshine.
Renee lived by an overarching belief: there is kindness in the world and we need to do everything we can to find it where it resides and nurture it where it needs to grow. Renee was a Christian who knew that all religions teach the same essential truth: we are here to love each other, care for each other, and keep each other safe and whole."
Thank you for this thoughtful post. I know this wasn't the main point of the article, but our husbands have similar resolutions and I felt very seen by your line..."I mostly manage to avoid talking with him about the news, unless something huge happens." I am proud of my husband for taking steps to protect his mental health, and envious of his ability to stay off social media. However, I am struggling a bit with not being able to talk about the news with him. It also bothers me when he actually doesn't know what is going on. For example, we live in DC and last night he was driving our kids to soccer practice and called me because there was a huge gathering of people a few blocks from our house blocking the streets. He wanted to give me a heads up and I said, yes, it's a vigil for Renee Good. He did not know what I was talking about. I guess I struggle with the line between protecting your mental health and digging your head in the sand and if the two can co-exist. I've raised this with him and he says that he does read things but on his own time and not via social media. Which is true. But I can't imagine not knowing what is going on in Minnesota right now and only reading about it next week. No answers just solidarity and openness to hearing about how others are navigating this with their partners or friends.
I agree that the news is terrible. But even as bad things happening around the world, and we care about them as we should, we have our own little lives to live. I can hold sadness, grief, and empathy for others at the same time I’m holding joy and gratitude for my own life. I know more than most that grief and joy often walk hand and hand. (My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor just months after my son was born and only weeks after she had her daughter.) Our highs and lows aren’t always separate. I’ve learned to accept the happiness when it comes, regardless of what else is happening, because it’s what gets me through the hardship.
Thank you for capturing what so many of us are feeling so eloquently. As a mother, my heart aches for all of this wretched unfairness and I find it so difficult to carry on with the mundane while thinking of all the heartache in the world. I feel like I'm constantly living my life as a split screen: going through the motions of the every day in my children's innocent world while thinking about everything else.
This is so well said, Lindsey. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing all these articles and resources. I thought it was hard to continue on like life was normal when my kids were little -- but now that they are 10 & 12, I find it even harder that I also have to explain to them the horrors of the world -- and act like things are ok.
Thank you for writing this post, which feels so necessary. Sometimes it feels like there are two options: either persistently living in a state of moral outrage and being vocal about that consistently or simply living in ostrich style ignorance. It is good and necessary to acknowledge there is a third way. Beyond that, to acknowledge that we were not designed, as journalist Caitlin Moran puts it, to "communicate with the entire world all the time" such that a failure to post or speak out on a particular topic does not indicate the absence of care, concern or fury.
Fundamentally, we need to remember that we are all just doing our best. As to how I will honour those women the world is poorer without, the same way I honour all the women who are here but don't have the same choices I do - by showing up, day after day. By doing my job, which I love (even if sometimes it's also hard and sucks!) and which is a privilege denied to many and by loving and enjoying life and those around me as much as I can. As the author Beth Kempton says, by waking each day and thinking "we get to have this day" and making the most of that.
Thanks as ever for being one of my favourite places on the internet!
Every single time I read your work I find things, people or news sources I'm so happy to have in my life. Thanks for this, we really area in a two things can be true at the same time moment.
I’m so glad you addressed this today because it’s been lingering on my mind so much. I remember once during the pandemic, early on, when things felt so scary and bleak a friend telling me we have a duty to joy. And I think of that a lot. Of turning to joy when it’s so easy to ignore it. Of course, I can’t forget the hard. But much like you said these things seem to live alongside each other. I also want to say here that, watching the news from uk, we can see you. You brave people who are not going along with this terrible turn to the right (that our government here, by the way, seems to be supporting ) and we see the courage and defiance and the terrible burden on so many good and decent people in the USA. We are sending so much love and compassion.
I would say that the cruelty and systemic injustices related to these two women's deaths is not something we can ignore. I hope people reflect on how they can get involved, including how much risk they're willing and able to take on
Right now I can not figure out if the USA or world is going through puberty or the 20s when you hit the real world. It is really hard right now and to be honest this new year already is starting on a bad note. Two people can view and experience an event and see it totally differently and the real truth is only clear for a microsecond, then it is gone forever because we bring our experiences, prejudices, education, and whatever else makes us human into the scene. Two people can be both right and wrong at the same time. It is perspective and how we grew up and regulate our emotional, psychological and physical being.
I have a brother in law who was in law enforcement, left and became a lawyer to working on rules of engagement for wars. This is a guy who who has gone on various missions, been deployed and super intelligent. Where does he live? Germany, which has some of the strictest gun laws, speech. When asked why he said the violence in America is out of hand at this point in time. All his kids (grown) always acknowledge how stunned they are about his decision to live abroad. It is the family joke because he truly loves his country.(USA)
One thing that I miss in this current unsettled state of being is that there really is no common ground. I can point to policies, events and presidents who have managed to screw the general population royally. I know that police, emts, nurses, doctors, first responders are dealing with our societies ills on a daily basis with little to no support, acknowledgement, or innovation care options because everything is happening so fast. We as human beings can not keep going on with this level of distrust, psyops, economic hits, and propaganda. You can't send a social worker into a bank robbery, domestic violence situation, gun battle, drug battle and expect a clear level headed ceasing of violence. You can't defund the police, call for reforms, when you are dealing with what is happening on the street today. Not only does there have to be equal enforcement of law, but there also has to be a society help so that you are falling through the cracks of society. Why do you have to be destitute before accessing established programs with trackable success? why are auditing programs, money that is funding said program, and tracking such a bad word. When you don't do this you get taken advantage of.
While I vote every election, I am not voting for the best presidential candidate I am voting for who can do the least amount of harm. Last election both were not what I hoped for. I also live in Texas so the open border policy that we experienced was not covered, nor were the gangs, or the vast amount of people who were setup just to do harm to this country. How do you tell which person is in a gang verses someone who just wants to work and build a life. You can't. You can't tell which is trafficing in human beings for sex, nor can you tell the drug runners. Our system is broken. If you want immigrants to stay provide food, shelter, sponsorship, english lessons, and introduce them to this country. But who pays the bills? Will Texas be reimbursed for the man hours, the communities that died because they couldn't afford to live in the border towns, will churches and individuals be arrested for aiding and abetting if a criminal happened to use their services? this is not an easily answered question. right now scandal after scandal about where our tax dollars are going just causes so much anger that it is getting to a tipping point.
I worked hard for my money and did a lot of different things to get where I am. I am retired, out of my birth state, living quietly, donating time and money when I can and just living day to day. There are no latest fashion trends here, or jewelry, or big honking trucks. There is food, light, a great spouse, two dogs and their accompanying fur all.over.my.house., friends and family and a quiet surviving. Nothing is certain which scares me.But I wake up in the morning read and go along as the day presents itself.
okay you have read this far, what do I recommend.
don't watch the news if you can
don't quickly judge what you see there is always something else going on in the background
find a hobby, sewing, playing chess or checkers, knit, wood working, fix lamps, go to grilling competitions, listen to music.
audio books while I clean or knit
I watch old black and white 1940s movies
I watch Friends, Lost in Space 1969, Midsomer murders, Torchwood sci-fi, frazier, the nightwatch man with hugh Laurie, british 1940 series Foyles war, victorian mysteries, downton abby.
Grocery shop and buy less and less
hit dollar store for candy and soda
meet up for support group with brownies
breathe, take naps, and watch the deer.
Harry Potter audio books. I am going hard on this one because it is constantly on in my house. Why you ask, because the kids are us, we go through a lot, denied, gaslight, ignored, and still they work it out, they survive, thrive, they lose people they love, deal with government, and media and still everything works out in the end.
Got to go make brownies now. Much love to you all. I wish things were simple, clear, but right now its just rough.
Lindsey, I feel a lot of rage when I think about what's happened. I find it hard to write from that POV. So, I'm trying to find meaning and understanding in literature. That's my post for tomorrow.
Just wanted to add this beautiful message from Renee Good's wife:
"If you ever encountered my wife, Renee Nicole Macklin Good, you know that above all else, she was kind. In fact, kindness radiated out of her.
Renee sparkled. She literally sparkled. I mean, she didn’t wear glitter but I swear she had sparkles coming out of her pores. All the time. You might think it was just my love talking but her family said the same thing. Renee was made of sunshine.
Renee lived by an overarching belief: there is kindness in the world and we need to do everything we can to find it where it resides and nurture it where it needs to grow. Renee was a Christian who knew that all religions teach the same essential truth: we are here to love each other, care for each other, and keep each other safe and whole."
https://www.mprnews.org/story/2026/01/09/renee-goods-wife-releases-statement-about-ice-shooting
Thank you for this thoughtful post. I know this wasn't the main point of the article, but our husbands have similar resolutions and I felt very seen by your line..."I mostly manage to avoid talking with him about the news, unless something huge happens." I am proud of my husband for taking steps to protect his mental health, and envious of his ability to stay off social media. However, I am struggling a bit with not being able to talk about the news with him. It also bothers me when he actually doesn't know what is going on. For example, we live in DC and last night he was driving our kids to soccer practice and called me because there was a huge gathering of people a few blocks from our house blocking the streets. He wanted to give me a heads up and I said, yes, it's a vigil for Renee Good. He did not know what I was talking about. I guess I struggle with the line between protecting your mental health and digging your head in the sand and if the two can co-exist. I've raised this with him and he says that he does read things but on his own time and not via social media. Which is true. But I can't imagine not knowing what is going on in Minnesota right now and only reading about it next week. No answers just solidarity and openness to hearing about how others are navigating this with their partners or friends.
I totally get that. I always struggle when my husband isn't as tuned in or as upset about something in the news as I am.
I agree that the news is terrible. But even as bad things happening around the world, and we care about them as we should, we have our own little lives to live. I can hold sadness, grief, and empathy for others at the same time I’m holding joy and gratitude for my own life. I know more than most that grief and joy often walk hand and hand. (My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor just months after my son was born and only weeks after she had her daughter.) Our highs and lows aren’t always separate. I’ve learned to accept the happiness when it comes, regardless of what else is happening, because it’s what gets me through the hardship.
Thank you for sharing this, Shauna. So beautifully said!
Thank you for capturing what so many of us are feeling so eloquently. As a mother, my heart aches for all of this wretched unfairness and I find it so difficult to carry on with the mundane while thinking of all the heartache in the world. I feel like I'm constantly living my life as a split screen: going through the motions of the every day in my children's innocent world while thinking about everything else.
It’s so hard, Rachel
This is so well said, Lindsey. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing all these articles and resources. I thought it was hard to continue on like life was normal when my kids were little -- but now that they are 10 & 12, I find it even harder that I also have to explain to them the horrors of the world -- and act like things are ok.
Yes, trying to explain it to your kids when it’s hard to understand it yourself is one of the worst parts.
Thank you for writing this post, which feels so necessary. Sometimes it feels like there are two options: either persistently living in a state of moral outrage and being vocal about that consistently or simply living in ostrich style ignorance. It is good and necessary to acknowledge there is a third way. Beyond that, to acknowledge that we were not designed, as journalist Caitlin Moran puts it, to "communicate with the entire world all the time" such that a failure to post or speak out on a particular topic does not indicate the absence of care, concern or fury.
Fundamentally, we need to remember that we are all just doing our best. As to how I will honour those women the world is poorer without, the same way I honour all the women who are here but don't have the same choices I do - by showing up, day after day. By doing my job, which I love (even if sometimes it's also hard and sucks!) and which is a privilege denied to many and by loving and enjoying life and those around me as much as I can. As the author Beth Kempton says, by waking each day and thinking "we get to have this day" and making the most of that.
Thanks as ever for being one of my favourite places on the internet!
I resonated with this SO much. 🙏🏻
Every single time I read your work I find things, people or news sources I'm so happy to have in my life. Thanks for this, we really area in a two things can be true at the same time moment.
Thank you for this. ❤️
Needed this reminder this morning!! Thank you Lindsey
Thank you, Maddie!
I’m so glad you addressed this today because it’s been lingering on my mind so much. I remember once during the pandemic, early on, when things felt so scary and bleak a friend telling me we have a duty to joy. And I think of that a lot. Of turning to joy when it’s so easy to ignore it. Of course, I can’t forget the hard. But much like you said these things seem to live alongside each other. I also want to say here that, watching the news from uk, we can see you. You brave people who are not going along with this terrible turn to the right (that our government here, by the way, seems to be supporting ) and we see the courage and defiance and the terrible burden on so many good and decent people in the USA. We are sending so much love and compassion.
I would say that the cruelty and systemic injustices related to these two women's deaths is not something we can ignore. I hope people reflect on how they can get involved, including how much risk they're willing and able to take on
I have been thinking a lot about this.
Right now I can not figure out if the USA or world is going through puberty or the 20s when you hit the real world. It is really hard right now and to be honest this new year already is starting on a bad note. Two people can view and experience an event and see it totally differently and the real truth is only clear for a microsecond, then it is gone forever because we bring our experiences, prejudices, education, and whatever else makes us human into the scene. Two people can be both right and wrong at the same time. It is perspective and how we grew up and regulate our emotional, psychological and physical being.
I have a brother in law who was in law enforcement, left and became a lawyer to working on rules of engagement for wars. This is a guy who who has gone on various missions, been deployed and super intelligent. Where does he live? Germany, which has some of the strictest gun laws, speech. When asked why he said the violence in America is out of hand at this point in time. All his kids (grown) always acknowledge how stunned they are about his decision to live abroad. It is the family joke because he truly loves his country.(USA)
One thing that I miss in this current unsettled state of being is that there really is no common ground. I can point to policies, events and presidents who have managed to screw the general population royally. I know that police, emts, nurses, doctors, first responders are dealing with our societies ills on a daily basis with little to no support, acknowledgement, or innovation care options because everything is happening so fast. We as human beings can not keep going on with this level of distrust, psyops, economic hits, and propaganda. You can't send a social worker into a bank robbery, domestic violence situation, gun battle, drug battle and expect a clear level headed ceasing of violence. You can't defund the police, call for reforms, when you are dealing with what is happening on the street today. Not only does there have to be equal enforcement of law, but there also has to be a society help so that you are falling through the cracks of society. Why do you have to be destitute before accessing established programs with trackable success? why are auditing programs, money that is funding said program, and tracking such a bad word. When you don't do this you get taken advantage of.
While I vote every election, I am not voting for the best presidential candidate I am voting for who can do the least amount of harm. Last election both were not what I hoped for. I also live in Texas so the open border policy that we experienced was not covered, nor were the gangs, or the vast amount of people who were setup just to do harm to this country. How do you tell which person is in a gang verses someone who just wants to work and build a life. You can't. You can't tell which is trafficing in human beings for sex, nor can you tell the drug runners. Our system is broken. If you want immigrants to stay provide food, shelter, sponsorship, english lessons, and introduce them to this country. But who pays the bills? Will Texas be reimbursed for the man hours, the communities that died because they couldn't afford to live in the border towns, will churches and individuals be arrested for aiding and abetting if a criminal happened to use their services? this is not an easily answered question. right now scandal after scandal about where our tax dollars are going just causes so much anger that it is getting to a tipping point.
I worked hard for my money and did a lot of different things to get where I am. I am retired, out of my birth state, living quietly, donating time and money when I can and just living day to day. There are no latest fashion trends here, or jewelry, or big honking trucks. There is food, light, a great spouse, two dogs and their accompanying fur all.over.my.house., friends and family and a quiet surviving. Nothing is certain which scares me.But I wake up in the morning read and go along as the day presents itself.
okay you have read this far, what do I recommend.
don't watch the news if you can
don't quickly judge what you see there is always something else going on in the background
find a hobby, sewing, playing chess or checkers, knit, wood working, fix lamps, go to grilling competitions, listen to music.
audio books while I clean or knit
I watch old black and white 1940s movies
I watch Friends, Lost in Space 1969, Midsomer murders, Torchwood sci-fi, frazier, the nightwatch man with hugh Laurie, british 1940 series Foyles war, victorian mysteries, downton abby.
Grocery shop and buy less and less
hit dollar store for candy and soda
meet up for support group with brownies
breathe, take naps, and watch the deer.
Harry Potter audio books. I am going hard on this one because it is constantly on in my house. Why you ask, because the kids are us, we go through a lot, denied, gaslight, ignored, and still they work it out, they survive, thrive, they lose people they love, deal with government, and media and still everything works out in the end.
Got to go make brownies now. Much love to you all. I wish things were simple, clear, but right now its just rough.
I’m glad you wrote about this today. So many of us are feeling it.
Lindsey, I feel a lot of rage when I think about what's happened. I find it hard to write from that POV. So, I'm trying to find meaning and understanding in literature. That's my post for tomorrow.