The tyranny of children's birthday parties
Who's paying and who's having fun?
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I was at mom drinks last week when the subject of birthday parties came up. Specifically, the pros and cons of throwing a birthday party at a local playground or park (or in your backyard, if you’re lucky enough to have one in Brooklyn) vs. shelling out more for a party at some kid-friendly establishment like a bowling alley or trampoline park.
I befriended these women in 2020, when our kids attended a tiny pre-K program that managed to stay open during the entire ’20/’21 pandemic school year. We essentially became an extended pod of sorts, and we all spent a lot of time outside, freezing our butts off together, while our masked kids ran around the local playground.
As a result of the pandemic, the majority of parties our kids have attended have been outside and fairly low key. We’re lucky most of our children are spring, summer, and fall babies, but we’ve all been to a chilly January/February birthday party in the park. (That this is even an option in the Northeast proves we’re living in the age of global warming.) But as COVID-19 becomes something of a distant memory (even though it seems like EVERYONE has it right now), we’re getting more invites to indoor birthday parties.
The reality of adulthood is that time is money, and throwing a kid’s birthday party takes both. My friend Johanna is always trying to encourage us to spend money on services that make our lives easier (to be clear, I appreciate this!), and choosing to throw a party at a venue specifically designed for children's birthdays is a good example of that. Last year, my friend Dana co-hosted a double-birthday rager in Prospect Park that involved transporting a huge number of pizzas, beverages, and party supplies across the park. This year, she told me, all she had to do was show up to her kid’s birthday party at a local mini-golf place. And honestly, the price wasn’t that much different, she said.
But the guest lists were wildly different. The park party included her kid’s whole class and then some; the mini-golf party was limited to 10 or so friends. And that’s another thing parents have to decide: Is the whole class invited? Or do you risk offending someone and leaving them off the list? In New York City, elementary school classes are usually 25 kids or more. And if you feel obligated to invite the class, the price of a birthday party adds up fast, even if you’re just doing it at the park.