The 5 Money Mistakes I Made in My Marriage
#4 is very relatable!
I’m often asked my opinion on how couples should manage their money. Over the years of writing about personal finance, I’ve seen it all, from spouses Venmo-ing each other for every little transaction to others working together to build elaborate shared budgets.
In general, my money philosophy is: You do you! When it comes to relationships, I don’t think it matters if you keep everything separate or throw everything into a joint account and call it a day. What does matter is that you’re transparent with each other about how you spend your money, and that you generally agree on the big goals. Ken and I don’t always see eye to eye on every little piece of our financial lives (the man is still being a pain about buying a new sofa!), but we generally agree on the big picture (living within our means, saving a lot for retirement and our kid’s college education).
I’m excited to dive a little deeper into this topic with our guest contributor
, who writes . I love her newsletter because she doesn’t shy away from exploring a tough topic: divorce. Cindy lifts up the curtain and shares her experience—and the experiences of other women—in an effort to help those who are facing a similar challenges.
Today, she’s sharing the five money mistakes she made in her marriage. It’s honestly my favorite kind of service journalism—stellar advice alongside interesting personal tidbits. I’m so grateful to Cindy for being both open and helpful. I think you all will agree!
OK, I’ll let Cindy take it from here!
I’ve been divorced now for all of six months, but I moved out over two years ago. Since doing the work of disentangling my finances from my ex’s, I have had to learn to manage my money, something my ex did for the bulk of our marriage.
I’ve since identified five money mistakes I made in my marriage. We often get stuck in patterns that develop early in long-term relationships. But that doesn’t mean you can’t reset the terms. In fact, I think financial transparency and partnership is key to a marriage’s success. If you aren’t talking about money, what else aren’t you talking about?
My ex bought our house before we were married.
Okay, this may not seem like a mistake. This may seem like: “Honey, you hit the jackpot!” We also can’t control who we meet and when. But my ex purchased a house the week before we got engaged. It was with the understanding that it was “our house.” We were planning to get married, and we were already living together. But there were some repercussions to this decision that I’ve only identified now.
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