Home Economics No. 31: Married, living on $70k—and getting some help from family
When your dad is a CPA, he’s going to have a lot of opinions on how you manage your money
Good morning! My editor (ahem, my husband, Ken) is away, and I’m finishing up this newsletter (including writing the intro) all by myself. If there are any typos, they are all my fault! (Like is there supposed to be a comma in the last sentence?! I don’t know!!)
It’s been seven summers (eep!) since a controversial Money Diary went viral. At the time, many readers were very upset that we were not clear in the original headline that the 21-year-old diarist was receiving a hefty allowance from her parents and grandfather. The extra $1,000 a month allowed her to enjoy a fairly fancy summer in New York City, where she worked as an intern making $25 an hour.
The highlight of the diary might be her pretty glamorous weekend in the Hamptons, where her “girl squad” (her words) spent the afternoon on a boat, and her friend’s personal chef prepared them dinner before they all went out to a house party. Did I mention her parents paid her rent? Yeah, you can understand why people were jealous.
I have lots of feelings about that diary and why it went viral, and you can read them in a piece I wrote for Refinery29 at the time. From time to time, I think about that diary and the young woman who wrote it—usually whenever people on the internet get worked up about someone’s perceived privilege. And it was top of mind this week, as I was working on today’s edition of Home Economics.
At first glance, it looks like the couple is getting by on less than $70,000 a year. Their relatively low salaries allow them to qualify for MaineCare, Maine’s Medicaid program, as well as some other government subsidies. The wife has been picking up additional gig economy jobs, including babysitting, in order to make ends meet after her husband was injured this winter and couldn’t work for a while.
But dig deeper, and readers will learn the couple receives quite a bit of financial support from her parents. They paid her college tuition, co-signed their mortgage, and regularly make big and small gifts to help the couple. The wife admits these gifts often come with strings attached—she would like to spend some of the $10,000 in the “baby fund” her father set up on home renovations, but she’s not sure he would approve. And while her family might provide a lot of financial aid, she doesn’t feel emotionally supported by them.
I think it all makes for a really interesting read, which is why I decided to share it today. And honestly, it’s a good one to stick behind a paywall, so we run less of a risk that it might explode on the internet. As I always say, please be kind if you choose to comment.
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Age: 30
Location: Midcoast Maine
Relationship status: Married
Age of partner: 29
About me: I am 20 weeks pregnant, and my partner and I are both self-employed. My husband was employed as a chairmaker for many years, and now he does fine carpentry, furniture repair, and custom pieces on his own. I have a sewing studio and manage our business, as well as take on gig economy jobs. We set up an S corp in January and pay ourselves salaries from our business earnings. Our families live in Nebraska (where we grew up), and we moved to Maine just before the pandemic. We own an 1850s farmhouse that we’ve been fixing up for over four years. I would describe our financial situation as frugal but creative-focused spending. I try to stay as financially savvy as possible so we can continue to maintain our preferred lifestyle.