I quit my job so you don't have to

Falling off the treadmill

I quit.

My last day at Fortune was Friday, May 19. And for the first time since I was laid off from Martha Stewart in 2011, I don’t have another job lined up. It’s scary and exciting. The list of things I want to do next is long—and I love that piece of it. But, if I’m being honest with you, for the first time in seven years or so, I’m feeling stressed about money. And frankly that sucks.

It wasn’t an easy decision to up and quit a very well-paying and arguably prestigious job. (I will, I admit, miss my title and my salary.) And I definitely have these moments of panic (weekly, daily, hourly, as I type this!), like “What the fuck am I doing?” You’re never, ever supposed to quit a job without a new one lined up. And in this economy?! Big mistake. Huge.

“Congrats! You got off the treadmill,” a mom friend high-powered bank exec said to me. And my heart dropped. Fuck, it’s hard to get back on a moving treadmill.

Yet I did it. There’s no going back now! Thankfully (I think?), my friends, family, acquaintances, former colleagues, etc., all genuinely seem excited for me. Although I have to wonder what they say when I’m not in the room. “Poor Lindsey, she just tanked her career.” If you are saying that, please continue to keep it to yourself. My ego can’t handle it.

I also get the feeling that some people are enjoying living vicariously through my career crisis. I don’t say this in a mean way—I’m in my early 40s, and nearly everyone I know is having a moment of “Is this really how I’m going to spend the next 20+ years of my life?” But for a host of reasons they can’t just up and quit. So they are going to rubberneck to see what happens to me. I get it. I’ve done my fair share of watching from the sidelines.

But what do I do next? Is it possible to find a job I like (even better—a job I love) with a salary comparable to what I just left? (I try not to dwell on the fact that women hit their career earning peak around age 40.) Can I consult and freelance my way to financial success? Or do I need to rush out and get another nine-to-five? Is it possible to pivot to a whole new industry—and which industry is that? What am I going to be when I grow up?

Of course, like every other unemployed writer and editor, I thought I’d start a newsletter. So here you go. Welcome to The Purse. In this newsletter I plan to write about women and money. In the four years since I left Refinery29, the one thing I’ve missed the most is talking to women about their finances.

Money touches every part of our lives, and it has such a huge impact on the decisions we make. I should know—I was able to quit my job because my family is financially stable enough. There were three big factors at play: I have 1) a husband with a job that provides us with health insurance; 2) supportive parents who are always willing to pitch in if I get into a pinch; 3) a healthy savings account that provides a little bit of security while I figure out what’s next. (I know this is the height of privilege—might as well own it.)

After I got laid off from Martha Stewart, I knew I didn’t want to work in book publishing anymore, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next. I must have had dozens of coffees and interviews, and among all of these meetings, I got to know Jacob Lewis, who at the time was running Figment, a social network for teens where they could share their writing. Despite having no real digital experience, I convinced Jacob to hire me to execute Figment’s digital marketing campaigns. I took a big pay cut, going from making $60,000 working freelance for a French book publisher (that’s a whole other story) to $40,000 (with no benefits!) to work for Figment.

It was one of the best career decisions I ever made, because in a circuitous way, it led me to Refinery29 and eventually here. Jacob has been helping me brainstorm how huge The Purse could be while also encouraging me to not be afraid to start small.

I also made a promise to myself that I laid out in the Money Diaries book. (Yes, this is a plug for a book I wrote. No, I do not get royalties if you buy a copy—add negotiating that contract to the list of dumb financial mistakes I’ve made over the years.) In the book, I wrote that I always wanted to make sure I had enough money in savings to take a risk. And what’s a bigger risk than quitting your six-figure job at a legacy publication?

But reining in your spending when you’ve gotten used to a certain bougie lifestyle is hard! My husband and I are pretty far removed from our peanut butter sandwich days. (Though our fridge is still stocked with PBR; some things never change.)

One thing that’s become abundantly clear as I navigate this new stage of my life: I like money—and I’m not ashamed to admit it—and the security and little luxuries it provides. Also, I’m still ambitious AF. That’s not something that goes away even in the throes of burnout. At least not for me.

So I hope you’ll follow along as I try to figure out what to do next. But this isn’t all about me. I’d like to use this platform as a place to talk to other women about their experiences with money and careers. After all, as I said to someone recently, I’m a 42-year-old white mom living in Brooklyn. I’m not that interesting. And so I’m eager to tell other stories. Any interest in sharing yours?

xx

Lindsey

p.s. How do we feel about The Purse for a name for this newsletter/future media empire? Some people really hate it. (Hi, Alexa!) Some people like it. (Hi, Alison!) I chose it because it’s simple, and because women carry their whole lives in their purses, not just their money. But if you have a brilliant idea (or just want to share your strong feelings one way or another), please send me an email!