Re: hobbies - I am a hobby enthusiast! I honestly wish I could provide a consulting service on helping mothers find hobbies. Personally, I'm most into gardening, film photography, learning French, and (mostly unfinished) craft projects. I would offer that TV/movies and reading count as hobbies! I don't really watch TV but wish I did; I know many people who don't read much and wish they did more. They have the other markers of hobbies: insider language/understanding, different levels of engagement (casual to enthusiast), their own clubs and publications, preferences for different niches and subgenres, etc. All that to say, especially in these young-child years when hobby time is so limited, I see no shame in claiming those activities as hobbies. :)
I would like to count book club (or articles club - a CupofJo rec) as hobbies. It's helpful that they are somewhat routine and involve a larger group, saving me from the 20 texts it takes to schedule one-off social activities with friends. I'm thinking craft club could be fun too!
As someone in the midst of discussing if/when to have kids, I found this incredibly helpful! It's nice to have this realistic portrayal and particularly appreciate the level of detail around the division of labor. I look forward to this series!
The one that is really hard to illustrate in the division of labour discussion is the mental aspect..... the text that you received about summer camp... Would your husband ever be the one to plan summer camps, do the research, reach out to other parents to see if their child is interested... Although you each take turns taking your child to swim lessons, who signed him up? Who researched all the options in the city, picked this one, signed him up and paid? Who makes the doctor's and dentist appointments? Who notices when he needs a hair cut and then calls to make the appointment? It is about so much more than just the physical part of labour
Sharon, I agree w/ you 100% and this is an ongoing disagreement Ken and I have. It's definitely the moms organizing camp and most play dates. And thank you for reminding me I need to call the dentist! :)
Completely agree!! I’ve been talking to other mom friends lately about this concept of the “maternal load” the extra mental juggling/strategizing we do outside of just our daily physical tasks. It’s much more cumbersome than I think anyone really realizes.
It’s befuddling to me how deeply satisfying and weirdly relieving it is to read this series (I love home economics too) and I’m a psychotherapist. I feel like I should have more insight but right now I’m just a person eating this up. I’ll reflect on it later 🫠🫠
Your husband’s niners commentary and the podcast after the game is just too spot on with my husband, except his football drug of choice is the lions. So they were mortal enemies this week.
I’m also the one simultaneously riling up my son and trying to get him to “calm his body” for bed. It’s the competing parts of him and I both. We want to rest and we want to play.
Thanks for the Dr Katz recommendation, Ken! Seems like required viewing for me.
I’m just curious WHERE it’s avail to watch!? Such a classic and used to be impossible to find. I also am a die hard fan of Home Movies and could watch at any given moment.
Lots to relate to, thank you! I’m halfway through a week of solo parenting while my toddler and I are at home with colds + it’s raining 🤧 before my spouse left for his work trip, he meal prepped a bunch for us and it’s been saving my life. He also took on all childcare the weekend prior so I could just lounge. Have definitely been reflecting on how much I value our parenting dynamic and division of household labor, it would be disastrous any other way. PS we also share treats after kid is in bed :)
Another great idea for a series. A similar one has been attracting crowds [viewers and commenters] at Livejournal community "My One Day" since 2008. It's a Russian-speaking community, but authors are required to document their day with photos, incl. time a new activity started, so you'll be able to follow.
F.i., this one is a called "One routine day from my life in Nuremberg", by Tatiana (40yo) who lives in Germany with a husband and a daughter.
It is fascinating to me, how much your lives [all three of you] are tied to?/ dependent?/ ruled by? a bunch of apps and online activities. It's a sort of variation on the theme "washing machine time" you wrote about recently. Haven't all the scheduling, educational games, finance planning/ editing, &&& apps were supposed to make the life easier? Isn't the freed time is taken over by yet other apps and games, etc?
PS.
When you say "I make the bed" - do you mean you change sheets/pillowcases, & so on OR you straighten the ones already on the bed?
I will check out that Live Journal! I love the idea of the photo element.
I agree that there's a lot of screen time on this particular Sunday, and I don't love it. We're forever looking for ways to spend less time on screens. It's always easier in warmer weather. FWIW, we do the crossword on paper.
And for making the beds, I just mean straighten them. Not changing sheets!
I forgot when was the last time I did crosswords...but I do Lumosity brain training instead (yep, it's an app...) - which is a lone activity, unlike crosswords.
Re: the beds - I thought you are like Barbara Barry (furniture and home products designer), changing your bedding every day! I think I read about her habits in Veranda or some such old magazine. Incidentally, my favorite brand for sheets.
This series is so great already. Aside from loving a peek into the lives of others, I think I’ll learn a lot here.
I’m a new mom with an under 1 yo kiddo and I feel a lot of pressure to “make every second count”. I’ve tried to remind myself (as influenced by friends and child development experts) that solo free play is actually really good for kids and babies! Alas…
One thing that struck me is how often you (and I and so many women in hetero relationships) are the “task assigner” and the reminder of things (please change this specific lightbulb, please bring your bag downstairs, please make the kid breakfast). It’s not a criticism but an observation that I relate to. It fills me with tiny degrees of frustration personally and it’s something I am working to let go of! Because at the end of each day, I’m just so grateful for the amazing things my partner does for and with us.
Thanks for sharing such a personal look into your lives together! It’s a vulnerable thing to do, but also meaningful.
Yes, "task assigner" -- that's a good way to put it. But a piece of me wonders is someone in the relationship has to have that job? IDK! I'm excited to see how other people do it, b/c I agree it could be instructional! That's the hope anyway!
Another really interesting and good peek into how others do their lives. Thank you! Also Caro chambers and her Substack what to cook when you don’t feel like cooking has an excellent hack for making using the TJ dough for pizza super easy. Let it sit out for 2 hours before to proof and then cook it in a cast iron - i can attest it’s a breeze. She has a video on her IG as well laying it out.
Ooh thank you for that tip! I get her free newsletter but maybe it's finally time to upgrade! (Although, god help me remember to take the dough out 2 hours ahead!)
I am thinking about my mom friends and if they have hobbies. I like inviting them over after bedtime with the intention of doing something crafty but we just end up chatting. If hanging out counts as a hobby, we've got that covered!
My husband and I recently bought a house that was owned by the same family since 1950. I just found the previous owner's mother's old recipe box, so my current hobby is making all of her South Philly specific recipes. It is really fun!
Re: hobbies - I am a hobby enthusiast! I honestly wish I could provide a consulting service on helping mothers find hobbies. Personally, I'm most into gardening, film photography, learning French, and (mostly unfinished) craft projects. I would offer that TV/movies and reading count as hobbies! I don't really watch TV but wish I did; I know many people who don't read much and wish they did more. They have the other markers of hobbies: insider language/understanding, different levels of engagement (casual to enthusiast), their own clubs and publications, preferences for different niches and subgenres, etc. All that to say, especially in these young-child years when hobby time is so limited, I see no shame in claiming those activities as hobbies. :)
A consulting service to help moms find hobbies is a fantastic idea!
I would like to count book club (or articles club - a CupofJo rec) as hobbies. It's helpful that they are somewhat routine and involve a larger group, saving me from the 20 texts it takes to schedule one-off social activities with friends. I'm thinking craft club could be fun too!
Yes, I think a book club is definitely a hobby (or at least a good excuse to get together w/ friends).
As someone in the midst of discussing if/when to have kids, I found this incredibly helpful! It's nice to have this realistic portrayal and particularly appreciate the level of detail around the division of labor. I look forward to this series!
The one that is really hard to illustrate in the division of labour discussion is the mental aspect..... the text that you received about summer camp... Would your husband ever be the one to plan summer camps, do the research, reach out to other parents to see if their child is interested... Although you each take turns taking your child to swim lessons, who signed him up? Who researched all the options in the city, picked this one, signed him up and paid? Who makes the doctor's and dentist appointments? Who notices when he needs a hair cut and then calls to make the appointment? It is about so much more than just the physical part of labour
Sharon, I agree w/ you 100% and this is an ongoing disagreement Ken and I have. It's definitely the moms organizing camp and most play dates. And thank you for reminding me I need to call the dentist! :)
Completely agree!! I’ve been talking to other mom friends lately about this concept of the “maternal load” the extra mental juggling/strategizing we do outside of just our daily physical tasks. It’s much more cumbersome than I think anyone really realizes.
It’s befuddling to me how deeply satisfying and weirdly relieving it is to read this series (I love home economics too) and I’m a psychotherapist. I feel like I should have more insight but right now I’m just a person eating this up. I’ll reflect on it later 🫠🫠
Your husband’s niners commentary and the podcast after the game is just too spot on with my husband, except his football drug of choice is the lions. So they were mortal enemies this week.
I’m also the one simultaneously riling up my son and trying to get him to “calm his body” for bed. It’s the competing parts of him and I both. We want to rest and we want to play.
Thanks for the Dr Katz recommendation, Ken! Seems like required viewing for me.
Ken was very hopeful he'd get a few Dr. Katz converts! (And sorry about Lions!) Glad I'm not the only mom who causes trouble at bedtime!
I’m just curious WHERE it’s avail to watch!? Such a classic and used to be impossible to find. I also am a die hard fan of Home Movies and could watch at any given moment.
He watches full episodes on YouTube!
I am in the same boat...this is just SO GOOD and I devoured every word. Why am I on the edge of my seat around will he/won't he fix the lightbulb?
Haha, I was on the edge of my seat, too!
Lots to relate to, thank you! I’m halfway through a week of solo parenting while my toddler and I are at home with colds + it’s raining 🤧 before my spouse left for his work trip, he meal prepped a bunch for us and it’s been saving my life. He also took on all childcare the weekend prior so I could just lounge. Have definitely been reflecting on how much I value our parenting dynamic and division of household labor, it would be disastrous any other way. PS we also share treats after kid is in bed :)
Ugh, hope you feel better soon!
Another great idea for a series. A similar one has been attracting crowds [viewers and commenters] at Livejournal community "My One Day" since 2008. It's a Russian-speaking community, but authors are required to document their day with photos, incl. time a new activity started, so you'll be able to follow.
F.i., this one is a called "One routine day from my life in Nuremberg", by Tatiana (40yo) who lives in Germany with a husband and a daughter.
https://odin-moy-den.livejournal.com/2301932.html
It is fascinating to me, how much your lives [all three of you] are tied to?/ dependent?/ ruled by? a bunch of apps and online activities. It's a sort of variation on the theme "washing machine time" you wrote about recently. Haven't all the scheduling, educational games, finance planning/ editing, &&& apps were supposed to make the life easier? Isn't the freed time is taken over by yet other apps and games, etc?
PS.
When you say "I make the bed" - do you mean you change sheets/pillowcases, & so on OR you straighten the ones already on the bed?
I will check out that Live Journal! I love the idea of the photo element.
I agree that there's a lot of screen time on this particular Sunday, and I don't love it. We're forever looking for ways to spend less time on screens. It's always easier in warmer weather. FWIW, we do the crossword on paper.
And for making the beds, I just mean straighten them. Not changing sheets!
I forgot when was the last time I did crosswords...but I do Lumosity brain training instead (yep, it's an app...) - which is a lone activity, unlike crosswords.
Re: the beds - I thought you are like Barbara Barry (furniture and home products designer), changing your bedding every day! I think I read about her habits in Veranda or some such old magazine. Incidentally, my favorite brand for sheets.
Love this series. *Remembers to place order on grocery app.
Loved everything about this except the Niners references 😑 XOXO from Detroit
Sorry! I knew we might lose some readers! 🙈
Love this! Thanks for sharing❤️
I would like to read descriptions of all your days!
Great series! Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to more.
Fabulous. Thanks for launching this series.
This series is so great already. Aside from loving a peek into the lives of others, I think I’ll learn a lot here.
I’m a new mom with an under 1 yo kiddo and I feel a lot of pressure to “make every second count”. I’ve tried to remind myself (as influenced by friends and child development experts) that solo free play is actually really good for kids and babies! Alas…
One thing that struck me is how often you (and I and so many women in hetero relationships) are the “task assigner” and the reminder of things (please change this specific lightbulb, please bring your bag downstairs, please make the kid breakfast). It’s not a criticism but an observation that I relate to. It fills me with tiny degrees of frustration personally and it’s something I am working to let go of! Because at the end of each day, I’m just so grateful for the amazing things my partner does for and with us.
Thanks for sharing such a personal look into your lives together! It’s a vulnerable thing to do, but also meaningful.
Yes, "task assigner" -- that's a good way to put it. But a piece of me wonders is someone in the relationship has to have that job? IDK! I'm excited to see how other people do it, b/c I agree it could be instructional! That's the hope anyway!
Another really interesting and good peek into how others do their lives. Thank you! Also Caro chambers and her Substack what to cook when you don’t feel like cooking has an excellent hack for making using the TJ dough for pizza super easy. Let it sit out for 2 hours before to proof and then cook it in a cast iron - i can attest it’s a breeze. She has a video on her IG as well laying it out.
Ooh thank you for that tip! I get her free newsletter but maybe it's finally time to upgrade! (Although, god help me remember to take the dough out 2 hours ahead!)
Absolutely worth the upgrade but here is the IG video too on it https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpQcs0agMp4/?igsh=MnJzNWNyN2I4YW91
DIVISION OF LABOR. Here for it. Generally, what I’m curious about, is who holds what card, Fair Play style.
Thank you! (And I still haven't read Fair Play, eek! I know I need to!)
I am thinking about my mom friends and if they have hobbies. I like inviting them over after bedtime with the intention of doing something crafty but we just end up chatting. If hanging out counts as a hobby, we've got that covered!
My husband and I recently bought a house that was owned by the same family since 1950. I just found the previous owner's mother's old recipe box, so my current hobby is making all of her South Philly specific recipes. It is really fun!
Oh that's fun! I always discount things like cooking as a hobby, b/c it so often feels like a chore. But I do think cooking projects count!