Since geography has such a massive impact on affordability, and therefore quality of life, I like to think about the dramatic shift remote working brought us, and how that will play out economically in the coming decade. This story is a great illustration of this principle, where a $380k family income feels slim in the Bay Area, but comfortable in Reno. It's interesting to consider the give and take of choosing where to establish a home. Thanks to Breadwinning Mother for sharing this story with us.
Yes, I think about this all the time! A really interesting way of thinking about personal finances. The part where it drives up housing prices in areas that remote workers are moving to is a bummer, but the ability of families to bring that money to other, less-affluent areas could be really good for local economies.
I guess I’m a little confused. The total income is about $16,600 monthly, but the expenses are $12,900. This shows me they there is close to $4,000 “extra” income each month. That is a large cushion for most people and this family can definitely spend more. This extra money could go into the 529 accounts or other savings. They would smart to put a chunk of it in a 529 as they are unlikely to qualify for any aid.
I had the same question. I am assuming every little thing from tires to shoelaces to toothpaste is much more expensive? Her cushion is larger than most families' entire income, unless I'm misunderstanding things. Which is possible.
She had been working as a freelance consultant and earning closer to ~$12k a month, so I think they worked hard to stay in that window of not spending more. Her higher salary was new to her, and probably not reflected yet in her monthly spending (and savings).
Wow - pretty sobering look at parenting in the Bay Area. I grew up here and just moved back to the area with my husband and we’re hoping to raise a family here. According to this account, we need $500k in income per year to live here, since close to $400k isn’t enough. Scary….
yeah, i really enjoyed reading this and i empathize with the author/mom. that said, plenty of people raise their children in the bay area on farrrrrrr less $. obviously! but feels like it needs to be said because most people are not able to pay a nanny close to 80k per year. WHICH IS NOT AT ALL TO SAY THAT THE NANNY DOESNT DESERVE THAT WAGE, just that it's out of reach for so many. also, wish people would stop buying plastic crap from temu
I don't live in the Bay Area but work with a lot of people who do, and it seems clear that the lifestyle creep is especially bad there! Glad for this mom that life in Reno feels a bit more manageable.
I'm not sure it's totally lifestyle creep, which I feel is more about buying nicer clothes, bigger cars, fancier furniture. They were struggling to make ends meet in the Bay Area because they prioritize spending on childcare. But agree, I'm glad she's feeling happier in Reno.
yes, lifestyle creep is totally real, AND ALSO, having a million dollars in the bank and a full time nanny is unfathomable to most people in this country.
I think we all pore over these numbers and see how they compare to our own. They are paying FOUR TIMES for rent what my husband and I are paying on a mortgage. (She's making dramatically more than four times what we earn, though.) And she's paying about THREE TIMES for childcare what one of my family members was paying for one 5-year-old until recently. (He's now in school, but has a late birthday so was still in daycare when 5.) My family member paid some additional amount in after-school care for her older child, so with that maybe it was closer to two times as much in child care. But my family member makes a salary that's in the ballpark of the breadwinner's husband. It really makes you wonder exactly how much you need to live in one area vs another. I value living in an area with low COL, but perhaps paying outrageous rent in order to make a high salary is a better deal than I've always assumed. Hard to know. Maybe a good question to tackle!
Yes, that's really interesting, Michelle! I feel like this came up some during the pandemic, when remote work first became more prevalent and companies would offer different salaries based on location.
As a working mom who has lived in the Bay Area for a decade, much of the author's thoughts on living in a HCOL area resonated deeply. You can earn a high salary and still live modestly. Childcare is generally expensive, but the costs can vary. For close to two years, I had two kids in childcare and spent about half of the author's costs for a nanny. Selecting a childcare provider is a highly personal decision, but I don't want readers to think spending $4k-$5k in the Bay Area is standard. Ultimately, what makes living here so difficult is the cost of housing. We have a serious housing shortage, which is causing many folks (see Breadwinning Mother’s post) to relocate to cheaper areas of the country.
Frances, I couldn't agree w/ you more, re: housing. It's the same problem in NYC. Childcare, as she wrote, is something you pay for for a relatively short time, but housing is basically a forever problem.
Hi Maureen! Bay Area single mom to two young kids, here :) For me, both of my children attended in-home daycares until they started preschool at 2.5 years old. Also-my then-husband and I spaced out having our children. They are four years apart. We did this for a number of reasons, but one factor was trying to avoid paying for full time childcare for both at the same time.
All this to say, we’ve still spent a LOT of money on childcare (money well spent! Childcare providers are amazing and face all the same high COL issues and deserve a good pay).
My youngest will start TK in the fall (universal in California-hooray!!) and I can’t even imagine what it will be like to have both kids in public school 🫨
Hello Maureen, I had my kids attend in-home daycare. I was also fortunate to have my youngest son start TK which helped to further reduce my childcare cost. Nevertheless, two years of paying for full-time daycare was expensive, so I’m glad it was temporary.
Thank you for the LA resources — and dying to know more about this “high achieving moms group.” Is this online? Only in the Bay? If OP can share I am so interested!
No sorry - I meant more as a resource for that person. If it's a formal thing (i.e. public) I would want to share that with my relative. If not public, then obviously no dice!
These posts about high-income earners stressed about money are so relaxing. haha, I don't care, I love to read them anyway. They make you think, that's for sure.
The $300,000 all cash annual bonus is the most surprising thing to me — a 100% bonus, all cash no less, is pretty unheard of even in the Bay Area. How did this factor into her budgeting?
These are always so interesting. Thank you to her for being so open and to you for bringing us these!
So interesting that this family initially felt like it wasn’t worth for the husband to stay home with the kids, even though his salary was close to the nanny’s pay. Even more interesting that he later became a stay at home dad and their kid is in full time daycare
"Don’t forget to take our survey for a chance to win our pretty sweet January sweepstakes! You can see the full goody bag here! And fill out the survey here! I’ve loved reading the responses! ❤️" -> oops, I think those links all go to the RSVP to the Wednesday 22nd event! (I know because I accidentally filled that in instead of the sweepstakes survey, my bad)
That's a good point, but she hasn't received the bonus yet (pay out is in April 2025) and it's not reflected in her paycheck. That was my thinking at least. I don't usually consider people's bonuses as part of their salaries, and I usually just include salaries in the headlines.
I’m confused about her savings. She references saving for a house and using the sale of her prior home for savings, but it’s not listed here.
Some job questions: did she keep her same job when moving to Reno? Is her bonus at 100% guaranteed or does it vary year to year based on performance etc?
I loved this feature and thought it was really interesting to get the almost 1 year later update. Perhaps that could be a newsletter concept once or twice a year to highlight any updates from these features on changes that they have made since publication that have impacted their financial outlook. On another note, I was struck that there was no life insurance for this individual as the main breadwinner.
Since geography has such a massive impact on affordability, and therefore quality of life, I like to think about the dramatic shift remote working brought us, and how that will play out economically in the coming decade. This story is a great illustration of this principle, where a $380k family income feels slim in the Bay Area, but comfortable in Reno. It's interesting to consider the give and take of choosing where to establish a home. Thanks to Breadwinning Mother for sharing this story with us.
Yes, I agree, Joy! It's really interesting to think/see how far $$ can go. And what are the tradeoffs we make for choosing to live where we do!
Yes, I think about this all the time! A really interesting way of thinking about personal finances. The part where it drives up housing prices in areas that remote workers are moving to is a bummer, but the ability of families to bring that money to other, less-affluent areas could be really good for local economies.
I guess I’m a little confused. The total income is about $16,600 monthly, but the expenses are $12,900. This shows me they there is close to $4,000 “extra” income each month. That is a large cushion for most people and this family can definitely spend more. This extra money could go into the 529 accounts or other savings. They would smart to put a chunk of it in a 529 as they are unlikely to qualify for any aid.
I had the same question. I am assuming every little thing from tires to shoelaces to toothpaste is much more expensive? Her cushion is larger than most families' entire income, unless I'm misunderstanding things. Which is possible.
She had been working as a freelance consultant and earning closer to ~$12k a month, so I think they worked hard to stay in that window of not spending more. Her higher salary was new to her, and probably not reflected yet in her monthly spending (and savings).
Wow - pretty sobering look at parenting in the Bay Area. I grew up here and just moved back to the area with my husband and we’re hoping to raise a family here. According to this account, we need $500k in income per year to live here, since close to $400k isn’t enough. Scary….
yeah, i really enjoyed reading this and i empathize with the author/mom. that said, plenty of people raise their children in the bay area on farrrrrrr less $. obviously! but feels like it needs to be said because most people are not able to pay a nanny close to 80k per year. WHICH IS NOT AT ALL TO SAY THAT THE NANNY DOESNT DESERVE THAT WAGE, just that it's out of reach for so many. also, wish people would stop buying plastic crap from temu
Yes, definitely agree people live on far less! I will make sure we feature in the future!
I don't live in the Bay Area but work with a lot of people who do, and it seems clear that the lifestyle creep is especially bad there! Glad for this mom that life in Reno feels a bit more manageable.
I'm not sure it's totally lifestyle creep, which I feel is more about buying nicer clothes, bigger cars, fancier furniture. They were struggling to make ends meet in the Bay Area because they prioritize spending on childcare. But agree, I'm glad she's feeling happier in Reno.
yes, lifestyle creep is totally real, AND ALSO, having a million dollars in the bank and a full time nanny is unfathomable to most people in this country.
Thank you for saying that. Agreed wholeheartedly.
These numbers are eye-popping!
I think we all pore over these numbers and see how they compare to our own. They are paying FOUR TIMES for rent what my husband and I are paying on a mortgage. (She's making dramatically more than four times what we earn, though.) And she's paying about THREE TIMES for childcare what one of my family members was paying for one 5-year-old until recently. (He's now in school, but has a late birthday so was still in daycare when 5.) My family member paid some additional amount in after-school care for her older child, so with that maybe it was closer to two times as much in child care. But my family member makes a salary that's in the ballpark of the breadwinner's husband. It really makes you wonder exactly how much you need to live in one area vs another. I value living in an area with low COL, but perhaps paying outrageous rent in order to make a high salary is a better deal than I've always assumed. Hard to know. Maybe a good question to tackle!
Yes, that's really interesting, Michelle! I feel like this came up some during the pandemic, when remote work first became more prevalent and companies would offer different salaries based on location.
As a working mom who has lived in the Bay Area for a decade, much of the author's thoughts on living in a HCOL area resonated deeply. You can earn a high salary and still live modestly. Childcare is generally expensive, but the costs can vary. For close to two years, I had two kids in childcare and spent about half of the author's costs for a nanny. Selecting a childcare provider is a highly personal decision, but I don't want readers to think spending $4k-$5k in the Bay Area is standard. Ultimately, what makes living here so difficult is the cost of housing. We have a serious housing shortage, which is causing many folks (see Breadwinning Mother’s post) to relocate to cheaper areas of the country.
Frances, I couldn't agree w/ you more, re: housing. It's the same problem in NYC. Childcare, as she wrote, is something you pay for for a relatively short time, but housing is basically a forever problem.
Can you share more (here or privately) on how you managed lower childcare costs in the Bay Area?
Hi Maureen! Bay Area single mom to two young kids, here :) For me, both of my children attended in-home daycares until they started preschool at 2.5 years old. Also-my then-husband and I spaced out having our children. They are four years apart. We did this for a number of reasons, but one factor was trying to avoid paying for full time childcare for both at the same time.
All this to say, we’ve still spent a LOT of money on childcare (money well spent! Childcare providers are amazing and face all the same high COL issues and deserve a good pay).
My youngest will start TK in the fall (universal in California-hooray!!) and I can’t even imagine what it will be like to have both kids in public school 🫨
Thank you, Fay!
Thank you!!! 😊💕
Hello Maureen, I had my kids attend in-home daycare. I was also fortunate to have my youngest son start TK which helped to further reduce my childcare cost. Nevertheless, two years of paying for full-time daycare was expensive, so I’m glad it was temporary.
Thank you for the LA resources — and dying to know more about this “high achieving moms group.” Is this online? Only in the Bay? If OP can share I am so interested!
I will try to find out!
I am also curious - I have a relative who lives in the Bay area that fits this description!
Hey Lucy! That might be, but just a friendly reminder that these are anonymous! :)
No sorry - I meant more as a resource for that person. If it's a formal thing (i.e. public) I would want to share that with my relative. If not public, then obviously no dice!
Ah, got it! Thanks, Lucy! Sorry, I just try to be super protective of the women who share!
Of course!! And I appreciate that so much. Sorry for the confusion!
These posts about high-income earners stressed about money are so relaxing. haha, I don't care, I love to read them anyway. They make you think, that's for sure.
lol! Making you think is one of my goals! Helping you relax is not! 😜
Mission accomplished!
I loved seeing how much goes to donations every month!
Yes! Agree!
The $300,000 all cash annual bonus is the most surprising thing to me — a 100% bonus, all cash no less, is pretty unheard of even in the Bay Area. How did this factor into her budgeting?
These are always so interesting. Thank you to her for being so open and to you for bringing us these!
I thought so, too! And thanks for reading Audrey!
Yeah it seems like that's a huge part of her comp that she just doesn't budget at all?
So interesting that this family initially felt like it wasn’t worth for the husband to stay home with the kids, even though his salary was close to the nanny’s pay. Even more interesting that he later became a stay at home dad and their kid is in full time daycare
That's why I enjoy these -- it's interesting to see the decisions people make!
"Don’t forget to take our survey for a chance to win our pretty sweet January sweepstakes! You can see the full goody bag here! And fill out the survey here! I’ve loved reading the responses! ❤️" -> oops, I think those links all go to the RSVP to the Wednesday 22nd event! (I know because I accidentally filled that in instead of the sweepstakes survey, my bad)
Oops! I updated it now, and here's the link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeN0ORXMMu-PiVv-9wgypUppO69F_YhszwiHLaQm3ZQKVfnqw/viewform
Thanks for alerting me to that mistake, Becks!!
No worries! And thank you! And indeed I am a little too far away for the Wednesday event so you can disregard my RSVP haha, maybe one day!
Haha, I've got my fingers crossed it works out sometime! :)
Thank you so much for sharing, Lindsey <3 Sending love to you and your community!
Thank you for the amazing work you're doing!! It's truly so impressive!
If she’s making $300000 in salary and $300000 in a bonus isn’t that 600k a year not 300k?
That's a good point, but she hasn't received the bonus yet (pay out is in April 2025) and it's not reflected in her paycheck. That was my thinking at least. I don't usually consider people's bonuses as part of their salaries, and I usually just include salaries in the headlines.
Yes I was confused about that detail!
Would love to see her updated numbers (especially around housing) with the move.
I’m confused about her savings. She references saving for a house and using the sale of her prior home for savings, but it’s not listed here.
Some job questions: did she keep her same job when moving to Reno? Is her bonus at 100% guaranteed or does it vary year to year based on performance etc?
Hi, the money she made on her home sale is in her savings account and investment accounts.
She was able to keep her job when she moved to Reno. She travels back to SF monthly to be there in-person some.
I'm not sure about the bonus!
I loved this feature and thought it was really interesting to get the almost 1 year later update. Perhaps that could be a newsletter concept once or twice a year to highlight any updates from these features on changes that they have made since publication that have impacted their financial outlook. On another note, I was struck that there was no life insurance for this individual as the main breadwinner.
Thanks, Kelsey. I agree, getting updates from the Home Ec writers would be really interesting. It's something I'll look into.
And yes, re: life insurance. I had the same thought! It's a topic I want to tackle in the Extra Credit series because I think it's so important.