Home Economics No. 18: Trading a Six-Figure Tech Job for a Freelance Writing Career
Taking a risk is easier when you can be on your partner’s health insurance plan
Hello! I’m back in Brooklyn after an absolutely lovely vacation with Ken in Northern California! Thank you to everyone who offered up travel advice. I’m toying with the idea of sharing our travel expenses and itinerary here. Needless to say, it wasn’t a $10,000 vacation!
The trip was wonderful, but we had a bit of a hard landing with our return. We got back late Monday afternoon and threw ourselves right back into work and life. I took my tax-planning final on Tuesday and then had a follow-up medical test on Wednesday that had been stressing me out.1 (I passed both. Woo!) We also had two days with early school dismissal and parent-teacher conferences. Somehow, we still found time to buy and decorate our Christmas tree and go grocery shopping.
When did I find time to write this newsletter? I’m not totally sure. I apologized to Erika for coming back from vacation into a personal-life shit storm. But also, I’m trying to be kinder to myself and remember that not every day has to be the most productive day ever. And sometimes you might even have an entire month that feels less than stellar. I guess if I were going to choose a month, December isn’t a terrible one. I’m already getting out-of-office messages from people informing me they’re gone until January 1!
There will be three more editions of The Purse this year, including next Saturday’s paid edition of Home Economics. A reminder that paid subscribers get access to our monthly giveaway. This month, we’re giving away The Bad Mothers’ Book Club by Keris Fox and The Trailer Park Rules by Michelle Teheux, as well as a lovely scented candle.2
We are also donating 20% of all new paid subscriptions to The Brave House, a nonprofit that supports immigrant women in NYC. It’s our way of supporting a cause we care about during this season of giving. I miss the days of working for a huge corporation when they would match my charitable donations. If you have that perk, please take advantage of it! It’s truly like free money! And if you’re looking for some good causes to support, check out this roundup of the charities beloved by the women featured in In Her Purse.
Okay, now on to today’s Home Economics! Last month, we ran a special collaboration with the newsletter
featuring a woman in the Midwest who lost her job in late 2023. We received a second submission for that collab, and it’s so good, I wanted to feature it this month.There are a few similarities between these two entries: Both women have sizable savings and a fairly low cost of living. (I know this point is up for debate.) But where Single in the Midwest is looking for her next career opportunity (and is, ahem, single), today’s writer took her layoff as an opportunity to pursue a new career (and is able to be a dependent on her partner’s health insurance plan).
Obviously, as someone who chucked a six-figure job to pursue a creative and entrepreneurial dream (while relying on my husband’s health insurance), I relate a lot to today’s column. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the tradeoff between a steady salary and doing what you love, and it’s a topic I plan to explore more in 2025. It’s not for everyone, but it’s a privilege (and a fuck-ton of work) for those of us who are lucky enough to have the means to make the plunge.
On that note, I’ll leave you to today’s Home Economics. Enjoy!
Age: 35
Location: Boulder, CO
Relationship status: Domestic partner
Age of partner: 40
About me: Born and raised in Europe, I’ve been living in the U.S. for about a decade. After 6.5 years of gainful employment at a major tech company, I was laid off in early 2023, and I decided to pursue a full-time writing career, as it’s always been my calling. (I’m a journalist by trade.) I’m working on a few different projects, including a book, with the goal of hopefully, one day, earning a steady income from my words. In the meantime, I’m living off my cash savings, interest from investments, and a modest income from a freelance translation gig.
Income:
Your job title/salary: Writer; no proper salary for now, but my monthly income averages around $600 between freelance work, interest income, and dividends. Before I was laid off, I made a $120,000 salary, plus a target bonus of 15%, which was about $20,000, and I would always use it to max out my 401(k). I also received about $60,000 in company equity (on a quarterly vesting schedule). I started selling some of it after the layoff, to diversify, but I still retain some because it’s a good one to have.
Partner’s job title/salary: Software engineer; $350,000 inclusive of base salary, bonus, and company equity.
Your monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): ~$600 between freelance work, interest income, and dividends
Partner’s monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): ~$15,000
Total monthly income: ~$16,000. My partner and I haven’t combined our finances, so I don’t really think about how much we earn each month together.
Account balances:
Checking account balance: N/A. I have a single high-yield cash account that functions as both my checking and savings.
High-yield cash account balance: $100,000 (4.25% APY)
Monthly contribution to savings account: N/A
Retirement account(s) balance: $288,000 in a traditional 401(k). My partner has his own retirement accounts, but I didn’t include that info here since we have not combined our finances, and I don’t consider it an accurate reflection of my financial situation.
Monthly contribution to retirement accounts: N/A
Investment account balance: $280,000 in three different brokerage accounts
A “socially responsible” investment account: $86,000
An account that holds my remaining company stock: $77,000
A general investment account: $117,000
Monthly contribution to investment accounts: $200 to the socially responsible investment account
Emergency fund balance: N/A
Other accounts: $1,500 in foreign bank account in my home country
Total in checking, savings, and investment accounts: $669,500
Housing:
Size of your home: My partner and I live in a two-bedroom, two-bath, 1,150-square-foot rental. We only moved to Boulder a few years ago, and we haven’t bought a home because they are so expensive, and also we’re still figuring out what our future looks like! I also am very attached to my home country, and it personally felt a little crazy to buy a home in the U.S. So we’ve just sort of punted this conversation for the time being because we’re not ready for the commitment.
Rent: $3,784 total for rent + $300 for two parking spots. My partner makes significantly more money than me, which was true even when I was gainfully employed, so we split rent proportionate to our income. When I had a salaried job, the split was 40/60; now it’s 25/75, proportional to our net worths. I currently pay $1,250 for the rent plus the garage.
Renters’ insurance: $113/year (My half is ~$56.50.)
Electricity/water/natural gas: ~$177/month. We are billed monthly by our building’s management company for all three utilities. This is roughly the monthly average, and my share is ~$88.45.
Cell phone: $55
Internet: N/A. My partner’s employer reimburses him for our internet charges.
Housekeeper: $120 for cleaning every two weeks (I pay $60.)
Gardener: N/A
Transportation:
Monthly car payment: $335. I have five car payments left on my loan. The interest rate is just 0.9% because I bought the car in April 2021. I put $15,000 down and financed the rest with a 48-month loan. I could have paid for the whole thing without taking on debt, like my dad raised me to do. (“If you have the money for something, never take on debt! Debt is bad!” he always said.) As it turns out, in the U.S., debt is not bad at all! (Sarcastic tone of voice.). It’s necessary and encouraged! You want to strengthen your credit score, which was important for me since, as a foreigner, I started building it late. The fact that once my car is paid off, my credit score will go down is such a good example of what can be wrong with America.
Car insurance payment: $62
Gas: $30
Car maintenance: $0. The dealership comped my last oil change even though my car is no longer under warranty.
Parking: $150 for my spot in my building’s garage (mentioned above)
Monthly public transportation: N/A
Ride shares (Uber, taxi, etc.): N/A. Since moving to Boulder, I hardly ever hail ride shares. When I lived on the East Coast, I did it all the time.
Children:
Number of children and their ages: We don’t have kids, though we’re actively thinking about becoming parents soon. I recognize it’s a big expense—especially because I want to make sure my kids are raised bilingual and bicultural, with part of their education reflecting what kids learn in my home country. We do have the resources for it, and I imagine we’ll continue a proportional split of these expenses. But we’re still figuring it out.
Debts:
Student loan total balance: $0. I was mostly educated in Europe, where the cost of education is a fraction of the U.S. My partner went to a state school, and his parents were able to cover his tuition, so he doesn’t have loans either.
Credit card balance (if you carry a balance month to month): $0. I always pay my credit cards in full each month.
Food:
Groceries: ~$300/month on average, which includes my partner. This amount varies greatly month over month, depending on travel, etc. We plan out our meals for the week and shop accordingly. I’m a big fan of Trader Joe’s because it carries good stuff and is so much more affordable than any other grocery store. My partner prefers Whole Foods or our local grocery store chain. Whole Foods is great, but it’s so expensive. Food shopping is a big area where our different approaches to finances become very clear. Sure, TJ’s doesn’t always carry what you need, but the cost difference is remarkable, and to me, it’s worth it. I put a lot of strategic thought into it, and I am mindful of price tags. (It’s how I saved up so much without making that much, respective to my partner at least). He doesn’t care about spending extra in exchange for having access to the full breadth of products (including his preferred brands), a much larger parking lot, and the convenience of delivery if need be. Groceries being such an essential part of life, this is certainly one thing that we have discussed a bunch of times. I’m also a big Costco fan. That’s where I stock up on essential home products (toilet paper, paper towels, dishwasher and washing machine detergent, etc.), and the savings are huge.
Dining out: ~$600/month on average, which includes my partner. Honestly, since moving to Boulder, this skews toward takeout meals rather than proper dining out, but it’s by far my largest expense after rent and flights. During the week, we usually cook at home, which is healthier and also less expensive. On weekends, we like to order in or go out. I personally love the “treat yourself” part of it. Keep in mind that we travel quite a bit, and the average figure I provided includes meals during travel.
Socializing and Entertainment:
Subscriptions (streaming services, magazines, etc.):
The New York Times: $6/month (promotional rate)
The Washington Post: $4/month (promotional rate)
Netflix with ads: $6.99/month (It’s not that bad, but my partner hates it!)
The New Yorker: $25 every three months
iCloud: $2.99/month
$150/year for two news outlets from my home country
$150/year for a few Substack subscriptions
Memberships (museums, etc.): $0
Movies, concerts, other events: $0. It’s very rare that we go out. Boulder living is just so different from when we were on the East Coast, but maybe we’re just lazy couch potatoes now.
Entertain and socializing other: Included in dining-out costs, as it’s usually food/drinks
Travel: ~$10,000/year. Travel is hands down my largest annual expense, what with coming from another country! It’s also the one thing I never skimp on. So far in 2024, I’ve spent ~$7,000 on flights and ~$3,000 on lodging and other miscellaneous travel expenses. (When I travel back home, I typically don’t have to pay for lodging.) I also just booked a European ski trip to celebrate my partner’s 40th birthday. I used credit card miles to book business class flights, and I splurged on a nice hotel. (For reference, in 2023, my total travel spend was upwards of $15,000 because I had six months severance and took advantage of my newfound flexibility to travel a bit more.) I’ll add that I work really hard to get the most out of my credit card points and use them to offset a lot of the cost of flying home.
Miscellaneous:
Clothing: $200/year. After deciding to pursue a writing career, I decided that clothing would be an expense I would keep to a necessary minimum.
Home supplies: $300/year
Exercise: $1,000/year for group tennis lessons, additional tennis practice, and tennis leagues.
Personal and self-care (haircuts, manicures, massages, etc.): $400/year for the occasional mani/pedi, haircuts, and massages.
Donations: $300/year. I used to be much better when I had a corporate job with a company match. I should make a plan to set up recurring donations to select causes, to pay forward the privilege I have.
Events (birthday parties, etc.): $300/year
Therapy: $228/month for weekly therapy sessions, after insurance. My therapist doesn’t take insurance, so I have to pay $190 up front for each session and request insurance reimbursement for an out-of-network provider. I am immensely lucky that insurance covers 70% of this expense after the deductible. (It breaks down to $57/session out of pocket.)
Credit card annual fees: $550/year for my Chase Sapphire Reserve and $89/year for an airline credit card. The annual fee on my Reserve card is high, but I work hard to get the most out of my credit card points. I’m able to book at least one free flight to Europe a year with points.
Insurance:
Life insurance: N/A. I used to have it for free as a benefit from my former employer, but I’m not sure it’s a necessary expense now that I’m a freelancer. I don’t have any dependents who would need financial support should I die.
Health insurance: I’m currently a dependent on my partner’s employer plan. I believe a $140 premium covering the two of us is deducted from his paycheck every two weeks. He is supposed to Venmo request me for my half, but he never does, even after I remind him!
HSA balance: N/A. I used to have an HSA at my former job and max out contributions every year, but I emptied it to cover last year’s medical expenses (chiefly, therapy). My partner’s plan is a PPO and does not come with an HSA.
Total monthly spending (includes annual expenses divided by 12, but does not include travel or health insurance): $2,938.05
Tell us more:
What are your top financial priorities?
At this time, my top priority is sustaining this financially crazy gamble of pursuing a writing career while maintaining my current level of wealth and the comfortable lifestyle it affords me. This means being very deliberate about what I spend money on and, most importantly, with my investments. While my cash reserves obviously decrease in absence of a real income, my investments have grown steadily, offsetting the cash losses and ensuring that my net worth continues to climb, albeit at a much slower pace than before.
How do you feel about your current financial situation?
I feel good, because with a net worth of upwards of $650,000 at 35 years old, I objectively have a lot of money. For my home country—a fully developed, rich Western power—it could possibly be enough to stop working for pay. In the U.S., unfortunately, that’s not the case, especially when my partner and I still have to get started on the whole children thing. This means that sometimes I feel really nervous and worried that I’m just being completely delusional and dumb about my career choices. Yet I am so privileged and fortunate to be able to pursue my career dreams without worrying about an income. I wouldn’t be able to do it otherwise. And I think that’s okay. I think I deserve to do what I am doing with the money I saved being so frugal while earning a six-figure tech-industry income.
What are your money stressors?
The absence of a real income at this point in my career. It’s a freaking gamble. Like I said, with about 75% of my money invested in the market, I’m lucky that from a big-picture perspective I haven’t been losing any money—just dwindling my cash reserves, which are still plentiful. But the anxious part of me (which is, alas, very powerful) constantly feels on the brink of some financial disaster.
I also just feel weird not having a regular income. What I’m doing is so unique among my peers that it makes me self-conscious. Society makes us feel like you’re not being productive if you don’t have a full-time job. And I worry that people (friends, family, etc.) think I’m relying on my partner for support, when I’m not. I’m living off the money I saved and invested. But that also feels weird to admit, because I don’t want people to think I’m spoiled or that I’m wasting my time pursuing writing when I should have gone out and found another full-time job.Do you expect to receive (or have you received) an inheritance from a family member?
Yes. My family back home has owned rental property in our hometown for a couple of generations now. It was built on land that belonged to a great-grandfather of mine and passed down to one of my grandmothers. And while I have no idea how much money my parents have, besides the real estate property I believe they also have money to pass down to myself and my two siblings.
Do you receive any financial support from your family?
I don’t, and I haven’t for eight years now. With the exception of a period between the ages of 25 and 26 when I held a full-time job, my parents on-and-off supported me through the completion of my education at age 27. (I have two master’s degrees.) Keep in mind I am from Europe, where the cost of education is negligible compared to the U.S. I calculated that the five years I spent getting a bachelor’s and master’s degree back in my home country might have cost my parents something like $15,000. ($3,000 a year!) My second master’s degree is from a U.S. institution, for which I received a merit-based scholarship, with the remainder of the tuition covered by an inheritance my father received.
Do you financially support any family members beyond yourself and your nuclear family?
I do not, and I do not expect to in the future.
How do you and your partner split your finances? How did you decide to go that route?
My partner has always made significantly more money than me. When I was still gainfully employed and we decided to move in together, we decided to split rent proportionate to income: 40% for my share, 60% for his. After my layoff, we revisited the split, and since I no longer make a steady income, we decided to peg the split to our net worths; we worked for the same company and have very similar investment accounts, so our respective money is expected to grow at a similar rate overtime. Our current rent split is 25/75 (his net worth is in the low seven figures). All other expenses besides rent are split 50/50 as a rule.
We’ve also reached the point where, while we’re not yet married, we also no longer care that much about splitting everything. If it’s a substantial expense, we’ll split it; otherwise, one of us will just cover it without sending the Venmo requests of the earlier days. We are getting close to marriage, and I’m not yet sure whether we’ll combine our finances, but at this point, our resources are generally shared.
We have pretty different approaches to our finances—see how he likes to shop at Whole Foods and hates Netflix with ads. He’s much more likely to spend money in ways that make his life easier, and I’m much more price conscious in general. Being with him has allowed me to relax some, which I think is a good thing.
What is one financial goal(s) you still want to achieve?
I want to have a healthier relationship with money. By that I mean be more carefree in enjoying what I have, living in the present moment without being so anxious about my financial future. I have gotten a lot better—and being with my partner, who’s very spendy, has helped me relax—but I can still be so cheap when I want to. My money mindset often correlates with my poor mental health. I think about money a lot—way more than I should—and while it’s helped me become wealthy, I ultimately don’t think my approach is always healthy.Tell us about one financial accomplishment you’re proud of.
Earning and saving all this money! Not going to lie, I can be cheap. Sure, I worked a six-figure tech job for over half a decade, but it was low six-figure, and living in the U.S. is really, really expensive! If I saved this much, it’s because there were times I was downright stingy. Free food at work helped, but I took skimping to near a point of obsession. I guess with a background squarely in the humanities, I never thought I would make tech money—and I never believed the bliss would last. Indeed, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, it all ended with my layoff. At that point I was grateful and proud that I had stashed away money the way that I had without really sacrificing anything.
What do you regret spending your money on the most?
I wish I could wholeheartedly call it a regret—I can’t, at least, at this very moment—but I have spent an untold amount of money on alcohol and tobacco products over the years. I don’t drink much any more, and this year I’ve also cut down significantly on tobacco consumption. (Very close to quitting for good!) I want to be healthier, but also because I just felt gross thinking about how much money I was wasting on it. Honestly, if I still lived in Europe, this probably would’ve never turned into a concern for me. On the flip side, it’s in the U.S. that I started consuming a lot of alcohol. When it comes to vices, pointing fingers at one or the other culture is pointless. Neither side of the pond is perfect. :)
What is one thing you spend money on that makes your life better?
Therapy, by far! My current therapist has been a lifesaver. I’m single-handedly putting her children through graduate school, and it’s worth every single penny.
Also, any single thing that reduces my stress and anxiety and affords me more time to rest and relax. Prime examples are regular house cleaning and flights that don’t take off at the crack of dawn or land very late at night (so long as time zones permit).What is one thing you spend money on that drives you crazy?
The inordinate amount of taxes, fees, and tips added on top of a takeout meal. It’s just insane!!!! It basically doubles your final bill and feels like the financial equivalent of empty calories. We have food delivery apps in Europe, too, and that doesn’t happen! In Europe, the price you see previewed for your food is the price you will eventually pay, plus tip if you want to, but in most places outside the U.S., food workers are paid a living wage and don’t need tips to survive. This is such a paradox about the U.S. Historically averse to taxes and proper welfare for hospitality workers, this country outsources the entire burden on the public. It doesn’t make any sense.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I’m renovating an apartment in my family’s three-story house back in my home country, splitting the expenses with my parents. (My mom budgeted for this renovation for years now, long before I suggested I could invest in it as well and make it my European home base.) Renovation costs are much lower than the U.S., and I’m so fortunate to be able to use real estate property that’s already in the family. While my partner and I envision the bulk of our year to be spent stateside, this apartment will be our home in my home country. I’m very, very attached to my home country, and it’s very important for me to maintain strong ties. Having my own home there is part of this.
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If the subject of this interview sees my comment, she might be interested in Amy Suto’s Substack (Amy posts paying writing, ghost writing, and editing jobs)
Loved chatting with you too! 😉 this was a fascinating read, especially as someone from another country who ditched a well paid job to be a writer! Good luck to this person!