In Her Purse: Financial Therapist Aja Evans
Hot Wheels, parking ticket, plastic spoon
Hey friends. How’s everyone doing? I feel a bit nervous asking that question, seeing as how the whole world melted down on Elmo when he asked the Sesame Street social media audience earlier this year. I don’t know about you, but February just about kicked my butt. And then all these brands and social media influencers wanted to make a thing about Leap Day and how we should all use this extra day to the fullest! Truly, I was just trying to get through the week. I did not have the energy for a “seize the day” kind of Thursday.
And now we’re in March. T.S. Eliot was incorrect when he wrote that April is the cruelest month. It’s actually March. The weather is terrible in NYC. Or sometimes it’s beautiful (see Sunday), and then terrible the next day, so it’s hard to know what to wear. Not that I like anything in my closet anyway, because by this point in the winter, I’ve worn all my sweaters 110 times at least. Plus, it’s Women’s History Month, which I’m sorry, but I loathe. Why do we have to cram all the panels and events into a single month? I’m pretty sure it would be OK if we spread them out throughout the year. Conversations about diversity, inclusion, and equity are important every day! Women do cool shit year round! Crazy, I know.
So, as you can see, I’m a little bit grumpy. I’ve been doing so many hard things this winter, and I’m tired. My CFP class is killing me. Balancing freelance life and The Purse is damn near impossible. I’ve been doing a lot of work for free, which sometimes feels insane. And to add to the pile, I’m burning a hole in my credit card with all these summer camp sign-ups. So maybe it’s not surprising that I feel a little stressed. (I’m also woefully behind on emails and general correspondence, so if you haven’t heard from me, I promise I will be in touch just as soon as I finish doing my taxes.)
On Saturday, I decided, fuck it, I needed a night off, and I went out dancing to celebrate a friend’s 40th. I pretended for an evening that I have no responsibilities and stayed out until 2 a.m., knowing full well I'd probably feel terrible on Sunday, and that the bad feelings would linger until at least Tuesday. But bouncing around a club, singing Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten” at the top of my lungs with some of my favorite people, I knew I was right where I needed to be.
And yeah, I felt terrible on Sunday, but also I got by (with big thanks to Ken for picking up the morning shift and letting me sleep in). And Monday was also not great (with a killer CFP midterm and more camp planning), and Tuesday there was so much rain. This is not the time of year for thriving—at least not for me. Yet, I’m trying my best to do one task at a time, one day at a time. It’s so far from perfect, it’s kind of hilarious. But the effort has got to count for something.
This is all to say if you’re looking for someone to give you permission to just goof off a little bit, I’m here to tell you: Go do it. From one recovering good girl to another, you work hard and deserve to blow off some steam. To-do lists be damned.
I’m excited for today’s edition of In Her Purse with Aja Evans. Aja is a licensed therapist who specializes in financial therapy. With over a decade of experience in mental health, she is determined to get people talking about their feelings about money. (Oh to be a fly on the wall for those sessions!) In addition to her practice, Aja is a speaker and soon-to-be author of her debut book, Feel Good Finance. She serves on the board of the Financial Therapy Association, consults with fintech companies, and has been featured in major news outlets such as The New York Times, Business Insider, NerdWallet, and CNBC.
Aja and I connected last fall because her name kept coming up everywhere I went, and I knew I had to meet her. She is one of my favorite people to follow on Instagram because she makes lovely videos about money and feelings that are both calming and motivating. And she’s just as lovely in real life.
The Questions
What is your idea of perfect happiness? To be honest, I am pretty happy in my life currently. I like that with this happiness I still face challenges, but usually I feel better for having gone through them—there has been a lot of growth. But perfect happiness for me is spending the day with my family (without concern for anyone’s safety) and friends, eating yummy food, and drinking something delicious in the nice weather. Bonus if we are on vacation somewhere.
What is your greatest money fear? That my business will fail, and I will have put my family’s stability and our home in jeopardy pushing and trying to make it work.
What is the financial trait you most deplore in yourself? I compare myself to others far more than I would like. I understand why I do it, but I literally help people with this very thing, and yet it is something I still struggle with.
What is the financial trait you most deplore in others? Oh, that’s really hard for me. People who try to make themselves feel better by using their money to make others feel small or less valuable.
If you could change one thing about your financial situation, what would it be? I would love to be debt free.
What do you consider your greatest financial achievement? Buying our house, and my business making more than my past salary.
Where would you most like to live? I am pretty obsessed with my house and where we live, but if I could plop it someplace with universal health care, paid-for quality childcare and education, parental leave, and diversity that is equitable, that sounds like someplace I want to live.
What is your most treasured possession? My education and my house. I never knew I was so obsessed with my home, but I really do love it.
What is your greatest money regret? Not aggressively paying off my student loans and unabashedly pouring into my retirement account in my 20s. Your girl wants to be work optional in her 50s.
What is your money motto? What you deserve and what you can afford have nothing to do with one another.
The Purse
Computer/charger. I’m in the process of finishing my book, and honestly, it makes me feel better to have my laptop with me so I can work on the book when I have downtime.
Planner. It’s huge, but I am trying out new systems of organizing myself, and I always feel better if I write things down. I love it so far. I’ve started taking notes on each day, which has been lovely to keep track of.
Highlighters. For my planner, because just writing everything down in pen feels a little drab to me.
Parking ticket. I forgot to pay the meter! Awful oversight.
Prescription sunglasses. These changed my life—I haven't gone back to contacts since.
Hand sanitizer. No explanation necessary.
Wallet.
Fenty lip gloss. This helps me feel more put together in a pinch.
Headphones. I love music, but lately, I’ve been listening to a ton of podcasts. Yes, they are mostly about money. And honestly, when I need to catch up with family or friends quickly, I will give them a call on my way to the train.
Lactaid. These pills are literally scattered about my life at all times. I have some in every bag that ever leaves the house. No one wants to be caught without it.
Hot Wheels. This is just an occupational hazard of parenthood. No clue how it got in there. It makes me smile.
Hershel bag of emergency sprucing supplies. I feel like so many people have a bag within a bag of essentials “just in case” something comes up. It feels so New York to me: Always be prepared to show up and show out. Gotta keep it handy!
Plastic spoon. Travel utensils live in this bag rent free. I get hangry, and I have been scarred after getting caught in my office without something to eat. Always be ready to eat!
Work bag. I don’t really carry a bag outside of a work bag, but my Beis bag is a dream. I am still in the diaper bag phase, so typically I just throw my stuff in there. Not the best, because I am always running around trying to find my wallet or my keys.
Aja, thank you!
You can follow Aja on Instagram and learn more about her work on her website. I also recommend this podcast interview with her and the wonderful Aundrea Cline-Thomas.
If you know someone I should feature in the In Her Purse series, please reach out!
"If I could plop it someplace with universal health care, paid-for quality childcare and education, parental leave, and diversity that is equitable, that sounds like someplace I want to live." ME TOO!
Such a great series! Please share the podcasts she listens to, if able!