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We do consumables for almost all gifts, and for our loved ones (none of whom are actual relatives except our parents), we do family game- or activity-based gifts - one gift for 5-6 people! We are also big fans of books, and this holiday season, when I'm surrounded by the bizarre echo chamber that is puzzle lovers, it was a revelation to realize our family's version of puzzles is LEGO.

And that's a whole series of discussion on its own - the undermining of hyperconsumerisom that is learning what you value and saying no to everything else.

We don't have a super, cosmetic providers, or a gardener. We tip well (both myself and my spouse grew up poor, and worked in the service industry, and I'm the first person in my family since they immigrated to the States not to work in the mines).

We do donate a larger portion of our income than the average American, so I think we're aligned on the "take care of each other, and consistently" value. I'm not saying this as a brag, but as a discussion metric. I'm sorry if that vibes as anything but.

Really enjoying your work. Thank you for writing about women and money!

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Hey Kat! Thanks so much for this comment. It doesn't read like a brag at all!

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I love this. As someone who loves gift giving I do try to prioritize edible things/experiences for those who don't know what they want. But I appreciate the idea of setting aside a holiday tip budget especially as someone whose never sure how much to tip our buildings maintenance guys!

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I love the idea of edible gifts or experiences instead of things (esp. toys). We've started giving our son tickets to an event each Christmas as his big gift. It's such a special event for him and his dad and their friends!

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Yes that would excite me too especially for a show or sporting event!

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