Home Economics No. 13: Single, 35, and Living at Home in Phoenix on $93,000 a Year

What would you spend money on if your parents still paid all your bills?

Once again this newsletter is too long! Read it in the Substack app or make sure to open the full email in your browser.

Hello! I’m back this week with a new Home Economics. Before I dive in, I want to remind everyone that paid subscribers get an extra edition of Home Ec each month. The September paid edition features a family of five in the Bay Area living on $205,000 a year. 

Home Economics No. 12: A Software Engineer and Stay-at-Home Dad Raising 3 Kids on $205k in the Bay Area

The monthly giveaway is back! Paid subscribers are automatically entered to win a copy of Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe and the newly released paperback edition of A Healthy State of Panic by Farnoosh Torabi, along with some fun supplies to keep those back-to-school vibes going into October. And I’m choosing TWO winners this month!¹

Also, did you know I do weekly chats on the Substack app? This week, we’re talking about one of my favorite topics: kids and money! Pop over if you want to share your opinion!

And last but not least, do you all even use the Substack app? I’m always curious to know where The Purse readers are hanging out. Did you know we also have an Instagram account? You can go over to watch me being awkward on Reels! (And then give us a follow? I have a fantasy of hitting 1,000 followers by October 1!)

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Anyone who’s a regular reader of Home Economics knows that I try hard to share a range of women with different backgrounds, incomes, and experiences. And increasingly, I look for submissions that fit with bigger economic stories that I see circulating, like when I featured the college professor last month who doesn’t have kids. I read her entry and immediately thought, “Here’s a childless cat lady!” But in sharing her story, it was easy to see she’s so much more than that.

Today’s Home Ec writer is 35 and single and lives with her parents. Of course, there are so many stigmas that come along with being single and living at home after a certain age. Insert rude stereotype [spinster, failure to launch, freeloader] here. But as I was editing this story, I came across a social media post from Ellevest about a study that found single women are happier than married women with children. The study is a bit dated (2019), but at the same time, the findings feel timeless. It’s not that surprising to me that research suggests that marriage is a better deal for men than it is for women. 

ellevest

A post shared by @ellevest

I love my life, but I definitely felt a slight twinge of jealousy when interviewing the writer of today’s Home Ec. I mean, I want to spend three weeks touring Europe by myself! Yes, please! And as she pointed out on our phone call, if people weren’t spending five figures to send their kids to daycare, they too could be going on very nice vacations². Too true, too true, as my kid would say. 

More and more people are also living at home in multigenerational households. Chris Farrell did a series of stories for Marketplace this spring about the trend, and he reported that the number of people living in multigenerational households has quadrupled to nearly 60 million people between 1971 to 2021.

I know a lot of people cringe at the idea of living at home with their parents, but I’m all for this trend, at least from an economical standpoint. Considering the housing crisis we’re facing in the U.S. and the number of aging boomers living in huge homes all alone, it makes sense for more kids to return home rather than spend huge chunks of their paychecks to live alone. And if boomer parents have the means to support their millennial children so they can prioritize saving for the future (and having a little fun), why not? 

I know a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this! I could be wrong! But it’s something I think a lot about. Let me know what you think in the comments! 

And without further ado, here is today’s Home Ec! Enjoy!

Age: 35
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Relationship status: Single

About me: I’m child-free by choice, and I love to travel. After a decade of living on my own in different cities across the U.S., I moved back in with my parents in 2016. It was supposed to be a short stay, but eight years later, I’m still there. I’m very lucky to be able to live with them, as it allows my salary to go a lot further, and I can prioritize travel and saving for retirement.

Income:

1. Your job title/salary: Marketing director; $93,000

2. Your monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): $4,301.16

3. Other income: ~$1,000 a month. I have one steady consulting client, and I will occasionally take on one-off projects, but the rates and frequency of those vary. I don’t count this in my total monthly income.

4. Total monthly income: $4,301.16

Account balances:

5. Checking account balance: $2,103.18

6. Savings account balance: $32,649.15

7. High-yield savings account balance: N/A

8. Monthly contribution to savings account: My entire paycheck goes into savings, and whatever I don’t spend stays there. I try to save as close to 50% of my take-home pay as possible.

9. Retirement account(s) balance: 

   • 401(k): $36,192.25

   • Roth IRA: $83,655.12

10. Monthly contribution to retirement accounts: ​​

    • 401(k): $1,713.55 from my paycheck pre-tax

    • Roth IRA: I typically deposit a lump sum of $7,000 per year.

11. Investment account balance: $249,093.38

12. Monthly contribution to investment accounts: N/A. I don’t regularly invest money into this account, but I really should put some time into this!

13. Emergency fund balance: I consider my savings account to be my emergency fund.

Total in checking, savings, and investment accounts: $403,693.08

Housing:

14. Size of your home: I live with my parents in their four-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bath home—it’s the house I grew up in. My brother also moved back home a few years ago. It’s a good living arrangement for all of us, except I have to share a bathroom with my brother. It’s not that he’s messy, but what 35-year-old still wants to share a bathroom with their brother?

15. Rent: $0. My parents are incredibly supportive, and they don’t charge me rent, and I don’t pay any of the utilities. Living at home allows me to have a “DINK” (dual income, no kids) lifestyle without a partner! I guess you could say that paying for housing does not bring me joy. 

16. Current home value: Not sure.

17. Current mortgage balance: My parents paid off the mortgage.

18. Year you bought your home: My parents bought the house in 1986.

19. Price of the home: I think it was $159,000.

20. Mortgage interest rate: N/A

21. Home taxes: $0

22. Home insurance: $0

23. Electricity: $0

24. Water: $0

25. Natural Gas: $0

26. Cell phone: $0. I’m still on the family plan.

27. Internet: $0

28. Other: $0. My parents do have house cleaners and a lawn-care service that comes regularly.

Transportation:

29. Monthly car payment: $0. I bought my car in 2018 and paid for it in full with cash.

30. Car insurance payment: $160.96

31. Gas: $0. My parents pay for my gas.

32. Car maintenance: I get around three oil changes a year for about $300 total. I recently had to get new tires and something else fixed that cost approximately $5,000, which I paid for from my savings.

33. Parking: $0

34. Monthly public transportation: $0 (unless I’m traveling)

35. Ride shares (Uber, taxi, etc.): $0 (unless I’m traveling, and then this can really add up)

Children:

36. Number of children and their ages: I don’t have kids, and I don’t have plans to have them. I have lots of friends who have kids, and I’m so happy for them, but I just never had any interest in having my own.

Debts:

37. Student loan total balance: $0. My parents paid for my college tuition. I’m getting my MBA right now, and I’m paying for that as I go. 

38. Credit card balance (if you carry a balance month to month): $0. I was taught to treat my credit card like a debit card and only buy things I can pay for in full. I recognize the immense privilege I have to be able to do this.

Food:

39. Groceries: $0. My parents pay for the groceries. No one likes to cook in our house, and everyone has different food preferences, so it’s rare that we’ll all sit down to dinner together. (Though we do hang out at home together.)

40. Dining out: I’d guess $400 on an average month and more when I travel. This mostly covers things like lunches at work. I’m not big on going out after work. I’m one of those people who is exhausted after a day at the office, and I just like to come home and relax.

Socializing and Entertainment:

41. Subscriptions (streaming services, magazines, etc.): 

    • AppleCare and iCloud storage: $16.74 a month

    • Google Workspace: $23.46 a month

    • Substack: I have somewhere between 5 and 10 annual paid subscriptions, so approximately $375 a year. 

    • Satellite radio: $100 a year 

    • CanvaPro: $120 a year

    • We share all the streaming services among the family; I’m probably paying for one, but not sure which and how much.

42. Movies, concerts, other events: $0. It’s very rare that I go out to a movie or concert.

43. Entertaining and socializing: $0. I’m very much a homebody unless I’m traveling!

44. Travel: This is where the bulk of my income goes. Travel is very important to me. Here are a few examples of trips I’ve taken so far this year. Sometimes I’ll meet up with friends, but a lot of the time I travel solo. If I always waited to have a person who had the same budget, time, and priorities for traveling as I do, I would never go anywhere.

    • Extra long weekend trip to a big city: ~$5,000, which includes business-class airfare, hotel for three nights, a spa treatment, shopping, and dining out

    • Big fall Europe trip: I’m planning to spend $25,000–$30,000, which includes stops in four cities over three weeks, with hotels, business-class airfare, activities, dining, and shopping

    • Solo beach weekend: $3,500, which included hotel, first-class airfare, and all other expenses

Miscellaneous:

45. Clothing: ~$500/month, but this varies. I tend to go in spurts of buying. I’ve been focusing on buying more quality and investment pieces.  

46. Home supplies: $0

47. MBA tuition: $1,400–$1,500 per course, and I’ve taken four courses in 2024

48. Exercise: ~$700/month for miscellaneous fitness expenses

49. Personal and self-care (haircuts, manicures, massages, etc.): 

    • $5,000 annually for regular haircut/color/extensions (I go roughly every eight weeks.)

    • $90/month for Drybar membership

    • $150/month for facial membership

    • I do my own nails, brows, and lashes.

50. Donations: ~$1,200. I max out all tax credit donations annually.

51. Events (birthday parties, etc.): Probably $400 per year? My family is small and holidays are not big for us.

Insurance:

52. Life insurance: $0. Covered by work. They also cover short- and long-term disability and ADD insurance.

53. Health insurance: $123.20 per month for health insurance through work. This is taken out of my paycheck.

54. HRA³ contribution: My employer contributes $1,000 annually, and I spend it to cover all my qualified medical expenses that come up throughout the year.

55. Other insurance costs: I pay cash to see my eye doctor ($300/year) and my dentist ($600/year to go every three months).

Total monthly spending (includes travel and annual expenses divided by 12)⁴: $7,333.95 (If you remove travel expenses: $4,124.95.)

Tell us more:

56. What are your top financial priorities? 

    My top priorities are to retire early and to travel often—and well.

    I want to be in complete control of my time by 50—to be able to work part time or consult.

    I took my first trip to Europe in 2015, and that’s when I really caught the travel bug. I have since gotten my dual citizenship with the European Union. My plan is to retire abroad, so I can have access to better healthcare benefits and be able to stay over there for long stretches without having to worry about visas and such.
    

57. How do you feel about your current financial situation?

    Overall, I am in a good place because of my support system. If I had to cover the typical day-to-day expenses, I would have to significantly cut back on my travel and how much I’m saving for retirement.

    I would like to make more money, and that’s something I’m focused on now. I don’t feel like I’m being paid fair market value for my role and my experience. And earning more would make me feel more secure in my goal of retiring early.
    

58. What are your money stressors?

    Making sure that I have enough to retire early and be able to afford quality medical care.
    

59. Do you expect to receive (or have you received) an inheritance from a family member?
    My grandma believed that every woman should have some money of her own, so she saved $10,000 a year from the time I was born, and she gave me $180,000 at 18. It was supposed to pay for tuition, but my parents were able to pay for college, so I was able to just keep the money. (I have it in an investment account, which has grown over the years. I try not to use it for anything.)

    I will inherit half of whatever my parents have when they die. This depends on how long they live, what expenses they have, etc. I anticipate this will be at least $1 million.
    

60. Do you receive any financial support from your family?
    Look at my answers! Without my parents’ support, my life would be very different. I know people might judge me for living at home and getting so much support from my family, but it works for me, and I’m grateful for it. I rely on my parents’ support, but I’m not dependent on them. If I needed to move out, I could. My life would be a lot different, but I could do it.
    

61. Do you financially support any family members beyond yourself and your nuclear family? Nope.
    

62. How has being single impacted your financial situation:

    Having a dual income gives you a whole lot more buying power in this world. But thanks to my parents, I’ve been able to live like I have two incomes. 

    I’m not actively dating right now. My life is busy, and I’d want to find a partner who would add to my life without causing a lot of stress or grievances. I’ve thought about hiring a matchmaker, but that’s a big expense I don’t want to spend.
    

63. What is one financial goal(s) you still want to achieve?
    Retiring early. I’m on track, and I hope to increase my salary to make this even more feasible.
    

64. Tell us about one financial accomplishment you’re proud of.
    Not blowing money that has been given to me and focusing on saving it.
    

65. What do you regret spending your money on the most?
    Honestly? Thousands of dollars for bachelorette trips, wedding trips, gifts, etc. It’s so out of control.
    

66. What is one thing you spend money on that makes your life better?
    Things that make my life easier like my Drybar membership. I HATE having to wash my own hair. (I have an injury that makes it difficult.)
    

67. What is one thing you spend money on that drives you crazy?
    Even with good insurance, medical costs are obnoxious. Big Pharma and the insurance companies have really ruined access and quality of care. I hate how much I have to pay for any type of medical care.
    

68. Is there anything else you would like to add?
    When I moved back in with my parents in 2016, it was just supposed to be a short stay, while I saved up money for a down payment. But I eventually came to realize I really had no interest in owning a home. Beyond just the mortgage, they are so expensive with all the upkeep. And so much stress.
    Continuing to live with my parents just makes sense. I work in an office, and I think that helps the arrangement work for all of us. Maybe it would be different if I worked from home. And as long as I’m living in Phoenix, I see myself living with my parents. I recognize the incredibly privileged life I lead and do my best to be responsible with the privilege I have. 

Please comment with kindness!

Random Extras:

• Joe, we did it! You amazing readers helped me and Katherine Goldstein hit our fundraising goal of $5,000 for The States Project. But it’s not too late to participate in our Giving Circle, and right now your donation can go even farther. Contributions to our circle are being matched until October 20, 2024, or until the match runs out, whichever happens first! This match doubles the impact of our investments to help in crucial November North Carolina state legislative elections.

• Sadly, I don’t have a trip to Tokyo in my future, but I’m loving this travel guide from

  Leslie Stephens
  .

  Issue #162: The Only Guide You Need for Your First Visit to Tokyo

• I find the new baggy jean/barrel jean trend to be slightly stressful because every image I see has these pants paired with the most impractical shoes. I appreciate all the advice I’ve been getting on this note asking for help on how to navigate this trend. Truly, I want to see more practical style advice for middle-aged moms. I’ve felt so lost since the pandemic!

1. The sweepstakes is limited to readers within the U.S. It closes at 11:59 p.m. ET on September 30, 2024. To enter without upgrading to a paid subscription, please reply to this email by 11:59 p.m. ET on September 30, 2024, that you would like to be entered in the sweepstakes. If there’s any further questions, simply respond to this email and I will do my best to answer them.

2. I realize I’m being a little flip here considering the high cost of childcare in this country. I know most families who are struggling to pay for adequate support probably would not be using the tuition costs to go to Europe instead. But it is worth acknowledging that for well-paid, dual-income, no-kid couples, not spending money on childcare gives them a lot more disposable income to use as they please.

3. Note from Lindsey: I hadn’t really heard of an HRA before. It stands for “health reimbursement arrangement.” Businesses will give employees some extra cash that they can use for qualified medical expenses. It’s a nice perk, because the employees get the cash tax free (up to a certain amount) and unlike FSA, it rolls over from year to year. But it’s not portable like an HSA. Does anyone else have an HRA?

4. Note from Lindsey: I should probably add a disclaimer to all of the Home Economics that this is simply a tally I put together in Google Sheets, which involves me taking all the annual expenses and dividing them by 12 and then adding them up with all the monthly expenses. (I leave out anything that might be taken out of one’s paycheck, like 401(k) contributions and health-care costs). It is imperfect math. So with that in mind, it’s OK to assume today’s writer does not have a $7,000+ credit card bill every month.