👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Love this one! Kudos to Grandma for making sure the women/grandkids were provided for. "Women should have their own money." This is what support and family is all about. Many of us wish we could mirror this level of support for our own families. She's grounded. My favorite part was this, "Not blowing money that has been given to me and focusing on saving it." 💯 Financial literacy must have been integral in her upbringing. If not, cheers to her having the maturity to come to this realization. Nothing wrong with staying at home, as long as it's not toxic. Keep stacking that 💰. And enjoying life! 🥳
I agree with this comment. I saw this on Reddit and the comments were insufferable. Quite upset that this woman saves, spends on what she wants. She’s doing fine and probably a lot better than most. I wish I had the support that she has!
That's unfortunate re: the insufferable comments on Reddit. Here's the thing: most of us would not have the numbers she has if the tables were turned. Many people know how to make 💲 but fail at keeping it. Wealth is about preservation. Plus, she started her own business, an Agency, Not a side hustle. She's a self-starter.
What I would say to this is that 35 is still young & things can happen to change her plans. I would be inclined to save/invest more & just trim expenses a bit. I love that she’s traveling & can eat out and afford the self-care, but I wouldn’t go wild, either. I especially admire her foresight in getting dual citizenship; I wish that were a possible for me!
When I was 35, my mother was still alive, but with increasing health problems and not enough retirement savings. My dad was remarried & healthy. I was in pretty great health myself. Now at 55, my mother has been dead for a long time, my stepmother has also died, and my dad’s health has deteriorated so much that he needs a lot of attention & expensive care. My inheritance from him is not going to be what he once thought & helping him affects the lifestyle of me and my two sisters.
So, I would tell the writer to think about the implications if her parents need to move, develop major health problems, etc. And, don’t take her own health for granted; I have some health issues of my own that arose in recent years and affect my ability to do certain things & limit the life insurance I can get. I’m glad I saved a lot when I was working the most and that my husband gets me access to good insurance through his work.
Good surprises happen, too! The writer might surprise herself by falling in love or suddenly finding motherhood attractive, getting a great job in Europe, whatever. Stranger things have happened and life is long. Having money in the bank definitely expands your options.
My daughter who is single and doesn't want children lives with us. I'm 72 my husband is 74. He was just diagnosed with a secondary cancer(not good) so my daughter helps with appointments etc. She works as a research librarian at a local college. It's a good arrangement. She does contribute to our household fund as we live on SS alone.
Late to the party but I had the same reaction. I was even brainstorming options, perhaps she could find a bathroom reno to create to smaller bathrooms if their space allows
I do think it's interesting that other countries really don't see it in such a negative light. It's that damn bootstrapped, "go west, young man" mentality we can't seem to shake in this country!
To be fair, in many countries - young people could never afford their own place unless they were married. In Romania for example, it was just an economic reality - there was little "go west" options.
That's why I found myself envisioning the subject as Southeast Asian. My (white) parents have BEMOANED my sisters returning home at short (3-6 months) points over the years due to significant personal strife. Love that the subject knows how lucky she is and lives in gratitude.
It seems as though your interviewee has really considered her options and has found a balance that's comfortable for her and also workable for her family. It's lovely to see such mental self-assurance and confidence in her decisions. Well done her!
It's interesting how different people think about/prep for retirement. I saw the total investment number (~$400k) and wouldn't feel like I was on track to retire at 50 with that number! I have about the same amount saved at 33 and think I might be on track to retire at like, 62, if I continue current savings trends. Making me wonder if I'm thinking too conservatively.
I wish I could have had a different 20s and 30s re: IRA and 401k, etc. I'll be hoping Social Security remains solvent! If I could do my 20s over, I would have begun trying to compound/invest back then.
I used think the same about having a do over as it relates to not investing in my 20s or 30s. But I thought about how we're living longer, much longer. And that time horizon means you actually have another 20 years to redeem yourself and you can invest now and still compound. Hope that's encouraging. I'm in the same boat.
Yes! I think a story on "What's your number—and where are you at (and what's your plan)" would be so interesting ;-) I am almost 50 (gulp) and suddenly "my number" moved.
I think it really depends on if you plan to stay single and childless or not! I have ~500K at this point, am a similar age, but have a child and plan to have one more. Definitely not enough for me to retire at 50 when I'll have two kids in and heading to college. But, if that 400K was for just me (ie my husband's retirement $$ was separate or I was single and determined to stay single), it may very well be enough! The other thing is she's anticipating inheriting $1M from her parents, which she may be thinking of as her end of life care fund.
I have so many questions about the amount of money she seems to have invested now vs what she was gifted at 18, but I know there are so many variables we don't see (maybe she didn't get it invested until recently, maybe she spent a big chunk on a trip around the world after graduating college — I would have! — maybe she went through a few tough years and needed to dip into it, etc). My one hope is she has it properly invested for her goals so it starts to grow much more quickly, since it seems to have grown quite slowly for whatever reason over the last 17 years, and she still has a good amount of time to get it on track.
I agree. 50 is 15 years away which is not that far. She can very conceivable live for 30+ years in retirement. I don't think that she will have the balance to spend 30k on trips like she does now
This is the kind of life I want to give my son. Call em crazy, but I think we encourage our children to leave home too early. As I think about generational wealth, it only makes sense to have him stay home as long as possible. Why pay for two places to live when you can pay for one. Probably not a popular opinion though.
Love this, Marc! And I completely understand! My kid always talks about how he's moving back home after college. To our tiny two bedroom, LOL. But it melts my heart that he wants to be here with us, and I definitely want to share everything I have with him. (And I'm also prepared for him to change his mind when he's 18!)
Kudos for sharing lots of different perspectives. This is one that is not at all relatable to me but it seems like she is having a great time. I feel like she could be more aggressive in investing if she is pursuing FI by 50 but also she knows she has a million dollars coming her way so psychologically it might be hard to do that, who knows ?
I loved hearing this perspective! So much respect for this person living in accordance to their values and carving out a lifestyle that makes sense for their goals. Also that travel budget 😍. Thank you for showcasing such interesting perspectives, Lindsey!
So interesting, thanks for sharing! I would totally still live with my parents if they lived someplace walkable/bikeable. I hope I’m as generous as these parents when my kids are adults, and that my kids enjoy being around me.
Enjoyed reading this one! I grew up in Europe and it is common to live in your parent's house until you "feel like having your own place". What took me back was the part where her parents pay for her gas (on top of her groceries and home utilities). I don't know, it seems strange to have your parents pay for everything you own when you call yourself an independent person. Even my best friends who stayed at their parents home until their mid-thirties paid for their share of utilities, groceries, and their own gas. From a human development perspective, I'm curious about what this financial dependence produces in the future.
I love reading these interviews, thanks for doing it Lindsey. It also seems like you're nervous about people judging this person for her decisions - which is interesting because as a 35 year old, independent, adult woman, you'd think she can handle people's judgement and opinions on her decisions.
I left my house at 21 and in many places around the world, this is an unpopular decision and I am judged for it. But it was my decision, don't need a cushion to fall on when people criticize me.
Thanks for presenting multiple perspectives. Keep the forum open for multiple opinions too. :)
Hey Mirela, I really appreciate this comment! And I definitely want it to feel like people can share their opinions. But I think we all know how fast things can devolve! There's a big difference to your feedback here (which I like and agree with), and just being a troll. (There are a lot of mean people online! It's just a fact!)
I'll admit that it's hard for me to strike a balance in my tone policing of comments! I want to build a community where people feel like sharing their stories, but also where we can have honest conversations about the good, the bad, and the ugly of money. The most important thing is for everyone to be respectful.
Thank you so much for welcoming my feedback Lindsey. I can understand the fine line you're walking in making this an open forum space and also presenting people's personal life decisions. It can derail quickly as we forget to treat each other as human beings. Thanks for doing this super creative and honest work!
I totally agree. Our daughter paid for her own gas and insurance when she bought a car herself as a teen. That was the deal and she never ever questioned it.
The one thing that I kept wondering is..what is the expectation on her and her brother as her parents get older and maybe need more help? I would venture that many of us feel that she lives a very carefree life and may have chuckled at how exhausted she is after a day in the office but if her parents are paying her way, are they expecting them to be their in home caregiver when the time comes?
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Love this one! Kudos to Grandma for making sure the women/grandkids were provided for. "Women should have their own money." This is what support and family is all about. Many of us wish we could mirror this level of support for our own families. She's grounded. My favorite part was this, "Not blowing money that has been given to me and focusing on saving it." 💯 Financial literacy must have been integral in her upbringing. If not, cheers to her having the maturity to come to this realization. Nothing wrong with staying at home, as long as it's not toxic. Keep stacking that 💰. And enjoying life! 🥳
I love this perspective! Thanks, Melody!
It would be interesting to see a side by side look at how her brother is doing. Same household. Same upbringing. Is he as financially astute??? 🤔
I agree with this comment. I saw this on Reddit and the comments were insufferable. Quite upset that this woman saves, spends on what she wants. She’s doing fine and probably a lot better than most. I wish I had the support that she has!
That's unfortunate re: the insufferable comments on Reddit. Here's the thing: most of us would not have the numbers she has if the tables were turned. Many people know how to make 💲 but fail at keeping it. Wealth is about preservation. Plus, she started her own business, an Agency, Not a side hustle. She's a self-starter.
What I would say to this is that 35 is still young & things can happen to change her plans. I would be inclined to save/invest more & just trim expenses a bit. I love that she’s traveling & can eat out and afford the self-care, but I wouldn’t go wild, either. I especially admire her foresight in getting dual citizenship; I wish that were a possible for me!
When I was 35, my mother was still alive, but with increasing health problems and not enough retirement savings. My dad was remarried & healthy. I was in pretty great health myself. Now at 55, my mother has been dead for a long time, my stepmother has also died, and my dad’s health has deteriorated so much that he needs a lot of attention & expensive care. My inheritance from him is not going to be what he once thought & helping him affects the lifestyle of me and my two sisters.
So, I would tell the writer to think about the implications if her parents need to move, develop major health problems, etc. And, don’t take her own health for granted; I have some health issues of my own that arose in recent years and affect my ability to do certain things & limit the life insurance I can get. I’m glad I saved a lot when I was working the most and that my husband gets me access to good insurance through his work.
Good surprises happen, too! The writer might surprise herself by falling in love or suddenly finding motherhood attractive, getting a great job in Europe, whatever. Stranger things have happened and life is long. Having money in the bank definitely expands your options.
Andrea, thanks so much for this! Such a wonderful comment, and I could not agree more! Having money in the bank DEFINITELY expands your options!
My daughter who is single and doesn't want children lives with us. I'm 72 my husband is 74. He was just diagnosed with a secondary cancer(not good) so my daughter helps with appointments etc. She works as a research librarian at a local college. It's a good arrangement. She does contribute to our household fund as we live on SS alone.
I'm so glad you have her support! I'm so sorry about your husband.
There’s a lid for every pot but the idea of sharing a bathroom with my 35 year old brother every day would have me looking for apartments!
This is an interesting life from a financial perspective. I would love to know more about day to day family dynamics tho.
Same!
same. I was all in until I read that part lol
Late to the party but I had the same reaction. I was even brainstorming options, perhaps she could find a bathroom reno to create to smaller bathrooms if their space allows
Only North Americans generally think living at home is weird. But frick if I would share a bathroom with my bro at 35 haha. That is chaos energy.
I do think it's interesting that other countries really don't see it in such a negative light. It's that damn bootstrapped, "go west, young man" mentality we can't seem to shake in this country!
To be fair, in many countries - young people could never afford their own place unless they were married. In Romania for example, it was just an economic reality - there was little "go west" options.
That's why I found myself envisioning the subject as Southeast Asian. My (white) parents have BEMOANED my sisters returning home at short (3-6 months) points over the years due to significant personal strife. Love that the subject knows how lucky she is and lives in gratitude.
I’d love to talk to her parents. I wonder if their perspective would be any different.
It seems as though your interviewee has really considered her options and has found a balance that's comfortable for her and also workable for her family. It's lovely to see such mental self-assurance and confidence in her decisions. Well done her!
It's interesting how different people think about/prep for retirement. I saw the total investment number (~$400k) and wouldn't feel like I was on track to retire at 50 with that number! I have about the same amount saved at 33 and think I might be on track to retire at like, 62, if I continue current savings trends. Making me wonder if I'm thinking too conservatively.
I wish I could have had a different 20s and 30s re: IRA and 401k, etc. I'll be hoping Social Security remains solvent! If I could do my 20s over, I would have begun trying to compound/invest back then.
I don't know your background, and I know finances are complicated, but I'll also add, it's really never too late to get started!
I used think the same about having a do over as it relates to not investing in my 20s or 30s. But I thought about how we're living longer, much longer. And that time horizon means you actually have another 20 years to redeem yourself and you can invest now and still compound. Hope that's encouraging. I'm in the same boat.
I thought this as well. I wondered why her retirement was so small when she doesn’t have any bills.
So interesting, Kate! There's probably a bigger story there!
Yes! I think a story on "What's your number—and where are you at (and what's your plan)" would be so interesting ;-) I am almost 50 (gulp) and suddenly "my number" moved.
Ooh Cat I love this. Yes!
I think it really depends on if you plan to stay single and childless or not! I have ~500K at this point, am a similar age, but have a child and plan to have one more. Definitely not enough for me to retire at 50 when I'll have two kids in and heading to college. But, if that 400K was for just me (ie my husband's retirement $$ was separate or I was single and determined to stay single), it may very well be enough! The other thing is she's anticipating inheriting $1M from her parents, which she may be thinking of as her end of life care fund.
I have so many questions about the amount of money she seems to have invested now vs what she was gifted at 18, but I know there are so many variables we don't see (maybe she didn't get it invested until recently, maybe she spent a big chunk on a trip around the world after graduating college — I would have! — maybe she went through a few tough years and needed to dip into it, etc). My one hope is she has it properly invested for her goals so it starts to grow much more quickly, since it seems to have grown quite slowly for whatever reason over the last 17 years, and she still has a good amount of time to get it on track.
Really love this perspective!
I agree. 50 is 15 years away which is not that far. She can very conceivable live for 30+ years in retirement. I don't think that she will have the balance to spend 30k on trips like she does now
This is the kind of life I want to give my son. Call em crazy, but I think we encourage our children to leave home too early. As I think about generational wealth, it only makes sense to have him stay home as long as possible. Why pay for two places to live when you can pay for one. Probably not a popular opinion though.
Love this, Marc! And I completely understand! My kid always talks about how he's moving back home after college. To our tiny two bedroom, LOL. But it melts my heart that he wants to be here with us, and I definitely want to share everything I have with him. (And I'm also prepared for him to change his mind when he's 18!)
Kudos for sharing lots of different perspectives. This is one that is not at all relatable to me but it seems like she is having a great time. I feel like she could be more aggressive in investing if she is pursuing FI by 50 but also she knows she has a million dollars coming her way so psychologically it might be hard to do that, who knows ?
Thanks, Meghan! I think you bring up some good points!
I loved hearing this perspective! So much respect for this person living in accordance to their values and carving out a lifestyle that makes sense for their goals. Also that travel budget 😍. Thank you for showcasing such interesting perspectives, Lindsey!
Thank you, Percia!
Was so engrossed in this money diary, I was surprised to see my name!! Thank you for including my Tokyo guide, Lindsey! Hope it inspires a trip!
So interesting, thanks for sharing! I would totally still live with my parents if they lived someplace walkable/bikeable. I hope I’m as generous as these parents when my kids are adults, and that my kids enjoy being around me.
Enjoyed reading this one! I grew up in Europe and it is common to live in your parent's house until you "feel like having your own place". What took me back was the part where her parents pay for her gas (on top of her groceries and home utilities). I don't know, it seems strange to have your parents pay for everything you own when you call yourself an independent person. Even my best friends who stayed at their parents home until their mid-thirties paid for their share of utilities, groceries, and their own gas. From a human development perspective, I'm curious about what this financial dependence produces in the future.
I love reading these interviews, thanks for doing it Lindsey. It also seems like you're nervous about people judging this person for her decisions - which is interesting because as a 35 year old, independent, adult woman, you'd think she can handle people's judgement and opinions on her decisions.
I left my house at 21 and in many places around the world, this is an unpopular decision and I am judged for it. But it was my decision, don't need a cushion to fall on when people criticize me.
Thanks for presenting multiple perspectives. Keep the forum open for multiple opinions too. :)
Hey Mirela, I really appreciate this comment! And I definitely want it to feel like people can share their opinions. But I think we all know how fast things can devolve! There's a big difference to your feedback here (which I like and agree with), and just being a troll. (There are a lot of mean people online! It's just a fact!)
I'll admit that it's hard for me to strike a balance in my tone policing of comments! I want to build a community where people feel like sharing their stories, but also where we can have honest conversations about the good, the bad, and the ugly of money. The most important thing is for everyone to be respectful.
Thank you so much for welcoming my feedback Lindsey. I can understand the fine line you're walking in making this an open forum space and also presenting people's personal life decisions. It can derail quickly as we forget to treat each other as human beings. Thanks for doing this super creative and honest work!
I totally agree. Our daughter paid for her own gas and insurance when she bought a car herself as a teen. That was the deal and she never ever questioned it.
I found this very interesting to read. It’s great to read bout all the different experiences life brings us. Thank you
The one thing that I kept wondering is..what is the expectation on her and her brother as her parents get older and maybe need more help? I would venture that many of us feel that she lives a very carefree life and may have chuckled at how exhausted she is after a day in the office but if her parents are paying her way, are they expecting them to be their in home caregiver when the time comes?