Thank you, dear writer, for being brave enough to share about your divorce and financial picture. My mom is in a somewhat similar situation having divorced at 55 (she is now 64). My two sisters and I are financially independent, and she will have a small pension from a past teaching career, which helps. I do still worry about end-of-life…
Thank you, dear writer, for being brave enough to share about your divorce and financial picture. My mom is in a somewhat similar situation having divorced at 55 (she is now 64). My two sisters and I are financially independent, and she will have a small pension from a past teaching career, which helps. I do still worry about end-of-life care for her and have considered taking out long term care insurance on her behalf (she says it's too expensive, but I also sense a general reluctance to address future planning). I remember at the time of their divorce she did not want to ask for any part of my dad's (small) retirement savings as she'd been a stay-at-home mom for much of her life and didn't want any further ties to him. I encouraged her to advocate for herself and she did end up receiving half of his savings as a small emergency fund. I think the divorce illuminated for me the importance of having a clear financial picture and contingency plans (though I do not personally have a prenuptial agreement I do see their value). I also think it sheds light on the struggles of making ends meet as a single person vs. part of a couple. (Though a recent report from the National Association of Realtors home buying trends shows home ownership increasing for single, Gen-Z LGBTQ individuals, and that nearly one out of three Gen Z buyers are single females. https://www.nar.realtor/newsroom/millennials-reclaim-position-as-largest-group-of-home-buyers). There are myriad advantages to being in a two-income household. Watching my mom shoulder the cost of a small mortgage on her own has helped me recognize certain advantages of sharing financial burdens. It still boggles my mind, though, when I have friends in their mid-to-late forties whose names are not on their homes and/or who do not have any stake in shared assets. Though they could likely never imagine getting divorced, life happens. In our home I manage all of our finances but have quarterly check-ins with my husband to share our portfolio's progress and he has access to and is listed on each of our accounts. I'm also very aware that I am likely to outlive my husband. He is seven years older than I am and in good health, but that does seem to be the trend in general. All this is to say that marriage and finances are complicated and while there is no one right way to approach them, I think it would behoove women to fully understand their finances, have access to all shared accounts, and know their worth now and in the case of divorce.
Yes, it is very worrisome when married women aren't educated about their family's financial situation, aren't listed on accounts, etc. Thank you so much for this comment!
Thank you, dear writer, for being brave enough to share about your divorce and financial picture. My mom is in a somewhat similar situation having divorced at 55 (she is now 64). My two sisters and I are financially independent, and she will have a small pension from a past teaching career, which helps. I do still worry about end-of-life care for her and have considered taking out long term care insurance on her behalf (she says it's too expensive, but I also sense a general reluctance to address future planning). I remember at the time of their divorce she did not want to ask for any part of my dad's (small) retirement savings as she'd been a stay-at-home mom for much of her life and didn't want any further ties to him. I encouraged her to advocate for herself and she did end up receiving half of his savings as a small emergency fund. I think the divorce illuminated for me the importance of having a clear financial picture and contingency plans (though I do not personally have a prenuptial agreement I do see their value). I also think it sheds light on the struggles of making ends meet as a single person vs. part of a couple. (Though a recent report from the National Association of Realtors home buying trends shows home ownership increasing for single, Gen-Z LGBTQ individuals, and that nearly one out of three Gen Z buyers are single females. https://www.nar.realtor/newsroom/millennials-reclaim-position-as-largest-group-of-home-buyers). There are myriad advantages to being in a two-income household. Watching my mom shoulder the cost of a small mortgage on her own has helped me recognize certain advantages of sharing financial burdens. It still boggles my mind, though, when I have friends in their mid-to-late forties whose names are not on their homes and/or who do not have any stake in shared assets. Though they could likely never imagine getting divorced, life happens. In our home I manage all of our finances but have quarterly check-ins with my husband to share our portfolio's progress and he has access to and is listed on each of our accounts. I'm also very aware that I am likely to outlive my husband. He is seven years older than I am and in good health, but that does seem to be the trend in general. All this is to say that marriage and finances are complicated and while there is no one right way to approach them, I think it would behoove women to fully understand their finances, have access to all shared accounts, and know their worth now and in the case of divorce.
Yes, it is very worrisome when married women aren't educated about their family's financial situation, aren't listed on accounts, etc. Thank you so much for this comment!
Very interesting points. I wrote about "Colorado" on Personal Finance Economics and you may have an interest, https://robertpuelz.substack.com/p/the-63-year-old-divorcee