Hi there! The OP came back w/ some additional details on the two biggest points of discussion FOOD and the AU PAIR. Here are her notes. :)
Monthly Food:
-We do a heavy mix of home-cooked PLUS delivery food from all kinds of restaurants/cuisines (not things like McDonalds). This may be strange for people outside of NY, but it feels pretty normal to us.
-Yes, I spend about $200/month on going to the grocery store; but my husband spends between $400-500/month total
-The food bought at the grocery feeds me, my husband, and the au pair, but so does the delivery based food
-When we grocery shop, our au pair goes along and picks out anything/everything she wants or needs for her apartment. She prepares her own breakfasts and lunches (as do we each) and for dinner she always has the option of eating what we have prepared, eating something she prepares herself or going out (which we do not give her extra money to pay for, it's at her discretion).
-As it says in the survey, our take out/delivery/eating out expenditure is roughly $1,000 between the two of us and that includes lunches when at the office (those $15 salads add up) and dinners a few nights a week, which also result in leftovers most of the time. It also includes a couple of nice date nights out a month.
-I also forgot to include a big expenditure - baby formula. We spend $280/month on formula (it's a subscription delivery service). Our kiddo recently started eating solids, but is still mostly getting calories from formula. I pay for this myself.
Au Pair: The monthly hard costs are accurate, and meet U.S. mandates. However there are many other ways she is receiving both monetary support and other kinds of support too.
-The stipend has a minimum mandate established by the US government. We pay ~17% over that based on talking to other families in the area.
-We cover all of her transportation costs. This is not required, but we felt it right to ensure she could get around easily in the city.
-We pay for any toiletries, feminine hygiene products, kitchen etc. products. She has a fully equipped kitchen and any time she needs something, I get it for her.
-We have her on our phone plan (this is required) and covered the majority of the cost for her to get a new iPhone (not required).
-We paid for a good winter coat because she is not accustomed to winters like we have and we felt it was unfair to expect her to spend that money.
-We gave her a holiday bonus of $350
-She is required to take an accredited education course during the year and host families are required to cover $500 in that educational expense.
-She gets 2 weeks of paid vacation. We gave her extra days off during Thanksgiving and Christmas that do not count against her vacation time.
-She works a consistent schedule of 8:30-5:30 Mon-Fri, with some slight changes when we have traveled. She takes breaks when the baby is napping (usually about 2.5-3.5 total hours/day) but has to stay at home. It is a legal mandate that au pairs cannot work more than 45 hours per week and must have at least 1 weekend off a month - we rarely if ever have her work outside of the aforementioned schedule.
-The garden apartment she is living in is a 1-bedroom / 1-bath apartment. In this area, we would be renting it out for ~$2,200/month based on same size rentals on our street for comp. The utilities that she generates in that apartment are roughly $150-250/month depending on seasonal usage, which we pay for.
This was fascinating to read. I appreciate the question about receiving financial support from family, as (in my opinion) that's usually the thing that's most shrouded in mystery/kept hush-hush that also helps people leap forward in building more wealth.
You've got the magic touch, Lindsey! Can't wait to read more from this series!
Hope everyone is having a good Sunday. I've been following the comments closely, and so has the OP. She wanted to add a few additional details.
She writes: One thing ppl seem concerned with is retirement - so I figured I’d add that those are just MY retirement numbers. I don’t know my husband’s current numbers. But for me, I max out both my 401k and Roth IRA contributions (401k = $23k/year; IRA = $7000/year). My employer matches 100% of first 4% of salary contributed to 401k which comes to an additional $11,400/year. I didn’t include the employer part bc it doesn’t come from my paycheck, so that might be a good additional q for the questionnaire. Also Lindsey was correct in her conjecture that I didn’t put a ton away for retirement while I was paying off loans. At the time I was making $75-100k in New York and my loan payment was about $1500/month so I was really struggling to pay that off.
It also may be interesting to people that I pay ~36% in total taxes. I don’t complain about that at all, but it does mean that big income number drops by $100k annually.
I put $78k of my own savings (just me, not my husband’s) into our down payment/fees. So that wiped a big part of my savings. Then having a baby has similarly brought down my savings too as I mostly pulled from that rather than carry a cc balance to buy the equipment and pay for medical bills. I’m in a rebuild mode now.
Absolutely wild that they received family support of $250,000 for the downpayment of a house as well as the same amount for the husband's sister to buy a house. I can't even imagine what that type of support is like. Always good to see these details that people tend to leave out when summarizing their success stories.
This is so interesting to me - why are people so upset over this being about a high income earner? Is it not just fascinating to see where the expenses go? and to see how others spend their money, or what life would be like to earn that much? I live in Ireland and we make good money, definitely not as much as this couple but I enjoyed reading about someone's experience living in Brooklyn while earning great money. And also interesting to see how no matter how much you earn, you still have money worries and expenses relative to your income. Fair play to this woman, she really deserves her income and her feeling of safety, she has worked hard to get to where she is. Love to see a woman earning more too!
Somehow stumbled upon this today (which is what I love about Substack!) and love the way you're helping demystify how people "make it work" financially and otherwise. I will be following along with interest (pun intended)!
I should comment with cleaner better information, but I believe there’s an option called Amazon household that lets you share a prime account and maintain privacy. This is what my husband and I do and now I’m questioning myself but I think we don’t pay twice and we don’t see each other‘s purchases.
Yes! I am so excited for this (already enlightening) series. Thank you for bringing your brand of brilliance and transparency here. Looking forward to what’s to come.
This has been one of the most interesting things I’ve read in ages. I’m so nosy! I love this!!! Thank you for putting this together.
I’m wondering, this food/grocery budget … that has to be weekly right? My grocery budget boggles my mind every month. I love to cook so it’s sorta an expense that’s half necessity and half hobby. Still. It sometimes feels like the monthly budget of a small restaurant.
A new subscriber, I find this series an interesting read - thank you, Lindsey (if I am be so familiar)!
I, too, live in Brooklyn and used to own a townhouse - at the time the R.E. was half the price OP and her husband paid - I do understand the general layout and would like to congratulate OP on the low mortgage rate she was able to obtain. It's great deal - I was paying 5.75% rate after 2 successful refinances from the original 9.5% [btw, what's OP?]
Something's puzzling me.
I've attempted to add the subtotals above into a monthly expense figure and came up with $14,422 (including the $280 in formula cost, from the comments). Taking it from the income of $25,392 leaves roughly $11,000. Yet, the retirement contributions are only $2,5K. Where the balance goes - to the bank accounts? It's relatively low , combined~$30,000.
OMG, I soooo feel for this couple! So much financial stress. Sad that they have this atrocious income and au pair and cleaning person expenses. I mean, my $22,000 Brooklyn income is low and life is tough, but these poor Yuppies, wow!
This is a wonderful series and I look forward to following it! It’s unfortunate to see people critical of their spending, choices, compensation for their au-pair, or help from their families. How will people want to participate and be transparent if people are making critical comments? This series is a learning tool and even though my personal situation is very different I learn so much from her generous contribution and information. So helpful. Thank you!
Love this! But would love to hear more details on her career moves over the last few years!! To more than double salary and step into a role she loves is goals.
Loved reading this and I can’t wait for more in this series! Would be super helpful to tally all the expenses at the end, just to see another number compared to the total take-home income!
Hi there! The OP came back w/ some additional details on the two biggest points of discussion FOOD and the AU PAIR. Here are her notes. :)
Monthly Food:
-We do a heavy mix of home-cooked PLUS delivery food from all kinds of restaurants/cuisines (not things like McDonalds). This may be strange for people outside of NY, but it feels pretty normal to us.
-Yes, I spend about $200/month on going to the grocery store; but my husband spends between $400-500/month total
-The food bought at the grocery feeds me, my husband, and the au pair, but so does the delivery based food
-When we grocery shop, our au pair goes along and picks out anything/everything she wants or needs for her apartment. She prepares her own breakfasts and lunches (as do we each) and for dinner she always has the option of eating what we have prepared, eating something she prepares herself or going out (which we do not give her extra money to pay for, it's at her discretion).
-As it says in the survey, our take out/delivery/eating out expenditure is roughly $1,000 between the two of us and that includes lunches when at the office (those $15 salads add up) and dinners a few nights a week, which also result in leftovers most of the time. It also includes a couple of nice date nights out a month.
-I also forgot to include a big expenditure - baby formula. We spend $280/month on formula (it's a subscription delivery service). Our kiddo recently started eating solids, but is still mostly getting calories from formula. I pay for this myself.
Au Pair: The monthly hard costs are accurate, and meet U.S. mandates. However there are many other ways she is receiving both monetary support and other kinds of support too.
-The stipend has a minimum mandate established by the US government. We pay ~17% over that based on talking to other families in the area.
-We cover all of her transportation costs. This is not required, but we felt it right to ensure she could get around easily in the city.
-We pay for any toiletries, feminine hygiene products, kitchen etc. products. She has a fully equipped kitchen and any time she needs something, I get it for her.
-We have her on our phone plan (this is required) and covered the majority of the cost for her to get a new iPhone (not required).
-We paid for a good winter coat because she is not accustomed to winters like we have and we felt it was unfair to expect her to spend that money.
-We gave her a holiday bonus of $350
-She is required to take an accredited education course during the year and host families are required to cover $500 in that educational expense.
-She gets 2 weeks of paid vacation. We gave her extra days off during Thanksgiving and Christmas that do not count against her vacation time.
-She works a consistent schedule of 8:30-5:30 Mon-Fri, with some slight changes when we have traveled. She takes breaks when the baby is napping (usually about 2.5-3.5 total hours/day) but has to stay at home. It is a legal mandate that au pairs cannot work more than 45 hours per week and must have at least 1 weekend off a month - we rarely if ever have her work outside of the aforementioned schedule.
-The garden apartment she is living in is a 1-bedroom / 1-bath apartment. In this area, we would be renting it out for ~$2,200/month based on same size rentals on our street for comp. The utilities that she generates in that apartment are roughly $150-250/month depending on seasonal usage, which we pay for.
This was fascinating to read. I appreciate the question about receiving financial support from family, as (in my opinion) that's usually the thing that's most shrouded in mystery/kept hush-hush that also helps people leap forward in building more wealth.
You've got the magic touch, Lindsey! Can't wait to read more from this series!
Hope everyone is having a good Sunday. I've been following the comments closely, and so has the OP. She wanted to add a few additional details.
She writes: One thing ppl seem concerned with is retirement - so I figured I’d add that those are just MY retirement numbers. I don’t know my husband’s current numbers. But for me, I max out both my 401k and Roth IRA contributions (401k = $23k/year; IRA = $7000/year). My employer matches 100% of first 4% of salary contributed to 401k which comes to an additional $11,400/year. I didn’t include the employer part bc it doesn’t come from my paycheck, so that might be a good additional q for the questionnaire. Also Lindsey was correct in her conjecture that I didn’t put a ton away for retirement while I was paying off loans. At the time I was making $75-100k in New York and my loan payment was about $1500/month so I was really struggling to pay that off.
It also may be interesting to people that I pay ~36% in total taxes. I don’t complain about that at all, but it does mean that big income number drops by $100k annually.
I put $78k of my own savings (just me, not my husband’s) into our down payment/fees. So that wiped a big part of my savings. Then having a baby has similarly brought down my savings too as I mostly pulled from that rather than carry a cc balance to buy the equipment and pay for medical bills. I’m in a rebuild mode now.
Absolutely wild that they received family support of $250,000 for the downpayment of a house as well as the same amount for the husband's sister to buy a house. I can't even imagine what that type of support is like. Always good to see these details that people tend to leave out when summarizing their success stories.
This is so interesting to me - why are people so upset over this being about a high income earner? Is it not just fascinating to see where the expenses go? and to see how others spend their money, or what life would be like to earn that much? I live in Ireland and we make good money, definitely not as much as this couple but I enjoyed reading about someone's experience living in Brooklyn while earning great money. And also interesting to see how no matter how much you earn, you still have money worries and expenses relative to your income. Fair play to this woman, she really deserves her income and her feeling of safety, she has worked hard to get to where she is. Love to see a woman earning more too!
Somehow stumbled upon this today (which is what I love about Substack!) and love the way you're helping demystify how people "make it work" financially and otherwise. I will be following along with interest (pun intended)!
I should comment with cleaner better information, but I believe there’s an option called Amazon household that lets you share a prime account and maintain privacy. This is what my husband and I do and now I’m questioning myself but I think we don’t pay twice and we don’t see each other‘s purchases.
Yes! I am so excited for this (already enlightening) series. Thank you for bringing your brand of brilliance and transparency here. Looking forward to what’s to come.
This has been one of the most interesting things I’ve read in ages. I’m so nosy! I love this!!! Thank you for putting this together.
I’m wondering, this food/grocery budget … that has to be weekly right? My grocery budget boggles my mind every month. I love to cook so it’s sorta an expense that’s half necessity and half hobby. Still. It sometimes feels like the monthly budget of a small restaurant.
Echoing others, but it feels important to add my voice to the chorus: I am here 👏 for 👏 this 👏 series 👏 !!!
A new subscriber, I find this series an interesting read - thank you, Lindsey (if I am be so familiar)!
I, too, live in Brooklyn and used to own a townhouse - at the time the R.E. was half the price OP and her husband paid - I do understand the general layout and would like to congratulate OP on the low mortgage rate she was able to obtain. It's great deal - I was paying 5.75% rate after 2 successful refinances from the original 9.5% [btw, what's OP?]
Something's puzzling me.
I've attempted to add the subtotals above into a monthly expense figure and came up with $14,422 (including the $280 in formula cost, from the comments). Taking it from the income of $25,392 leaves roughly $11,000. Yet, the retirement contributions are only $2,5K. Where the balance goes - to the bank accounts? It's relatively low , combined~$30,000.
A mystery.
I LOVE this series! Also, even if you get rid of Prime you still have access to your purchase history.
OMG, I soooo feel for this couple! So much financial stress. Sad that they have this atrocious income and au pair and cleaning person expenses. I mean, my $22,000 Brooklyn income is low and life is tough, but these poor Yuppies, wow!
This is a wonderful series and I look forward to following it! It’s unfortunate to see people critical of their spending, choices, compensation for their au-pair, or help from their families. How will people want to participate and be transparent if people are making critical comments? This series is a learning tool and even though my personal situation is very different I learn so much from her generous contribution and information. So helpful. Thank you!
Love this! But would love to hear more details on her career moves over the last few years!! To more than double salary and step into a role she loves is goals.
Loved reading this and I can’t wait for more in this series! Would be super helpful to tally all the expenses at the end, just to see another number compared to the total take-home income!